Life Itself [Tubbo-Centric]

2

Ranboo: have any of you heard from Tubbo

Ranboo: I still cant reach him

Philza: yeah I can't either

Niki: Tubbo always replies to our messages :(( I'm so worried

Philza: yeah it's not like him

Philza: that's more like something Techno would do

Technoblade: jerk

Tommy: Wilbur is visiting tmrrw so he'll make sure Tubbo is fine

Wilbur: mhm

Ranboo: yeah, I really hope he's ok

Jack: same here

George: ^

—-

Tubbo woke up with a start, shoving himself off the couch he had fallen asleep on and got to the bathroom as quickly as he could, dropping to his knees by the toilet and vomited. It felt horrible. It always felt horrible. It made his throat burn and feel raw and his eyes water up. His chest rattled with harsh coughing. He felt horrible. He always felt horrible. Every day blurred together in a mess of hurting and pretending that the world didn't exist. He was the one who didn't want to exist anymore. Tubbo didn't want to live. He was ready to be done.

Tubbo cried as he flushed the toilet and pulled himself up off the floor, making his way exhaustedly back to the kitchen. He was so tired and sick. He was done. It was over. He went over to his medicine cabinet and pulled out a small, orange bottle, full of the Zoloft that he never took anymore. Until now. Tubbo poured the contents of the bottle into his palm and put it to his mouth, washing them down with some water. He didn't feel anything yet, but soon he knew he probably would. Tubbo sniffled and let the bottle slip from his hand onto the floor. It wasn't enough. He wandered over to the knife block on his kitchen counter, a pretty white marble, and took a knife from the block. He held it up over his left arm, looking down at the white and pink lines from previous times. Then he lowered the knife and pressed it into his skin before pulling it over pale skin.

It hurt. It hurt so fucking bad but it was also calming for some reason, like he was releasing every emotion that he had bottled up for so long. He cried even harder and continued to cut more into his arms, dragging the knife up the length of his arm as much as he could before it was too painful to continue on anymore. There was so much blood and he felt so ill. He slid down against the counter behind him and sat down on the floor. His head was pounding so hard it felt like he took a sledgehammer to his brain. Sobs shook his entire body as he switched the knife into his other hand, littering messy cuts over his forearm. His vision was spotty and he felt too weak to keep his head up. He was so tired. He just wanted to go to bed.

—

Wilbur: At Tubbo's apartment building

Ranboo: is he ok???

Wilbur: I don't know yet, I'm not in his room yet

Niki: I'm so nervous :((

Wilbur: don't be, he'll be fine
...

Wilbur: alright I knocked on the door

Wilbur: he didn't answer

Wilbur: should I come back later?

Tommy: you can go in dude we have spare Keys for a reason

Wilbur: Tommy that's really weird

Ranboo: come on please??

Tommy: yeah just check maybe he's ignoring u

Wilbur: fine

Wilbur: but it's your fault if he gets pissed off at me

Ranboo: fair

—-

Wilbur sighed and pocketed his phone, knocking once more before taking out his key and opening the door to Tubbo's apartment. He was instantly hit with the smell of iron and the sign of blood. Tubbo's blood. Wilbur was instantly struck with panic.

"Oh my god," Wilbur choked, frozen for a second before running towards Tubbo and falling to his knees next to the pale boy on the floor. He couldn't feel anything but shock and absolute horror, his heart racing and adrenaline pumping. "Tubbo oh my fucking god, Tubbo. I'm calling for an ambulance," he panicked. He didn't even know if Tubbo could hear him... or if he was even conscious. The only thing that made Wilbur sure he was alive was the weak rising and falling in his chest.

"(Address n shit) I-I found my friend on the ground shit he- he's bleeding out- fuck- I need an ambulance now," Wilbur exclaimed. He couldn't breathe. Fuck he couldn't breathe.

"Alright sir, I'm going to need you to calm down, can you do that? I've sent an ambulance to that address," the dispatcher said calmly.

"No no no no no- I can't-" Wilbur couldn't feel himself shaking as he hovered over Tubbo, keeping a hand on his neck to feel his heart beat. Something caught his eye. "Oh god there's an empty pill bottle, I think-" a choking sob made its way through his body. His chest rattled.

"Sir calm down. Can you try to stop the bleeding?"

"Yeah, yeah, I just-" he quickly got up off the floor, ran to the bathroom for some towels. He took a deep, shaking breath and wrapped both of Tubbo's arms up in a towel, putting pressure on them to stop the bleeding. It was hard since he had two arms to take care of, but he tried.Tubbo looked so pale. "I think it's helping..."

"Good. Now can you see what pill he took?" The dispatcher asked. Wilbur looked back at the bottle and grabbed it, looking at the label.

"Sertraline, 100 milligrams once per day."

"Alright, tell that to the people coming, ok? They should be here any minute," they said. Not a few seconds later was there a knock on the door, and Wilbur hastily thanked the dispatcher before he rushed over to open the door

"He's bleeding out, and I think he overdosed-" Wilbur panicked, moving out of the way. All he could do was stare as the EMTs did their work, carefully lifting Tubbo onto a stretcher. His mouth felt like Cotton and his head and heart were both pounding. He had to force himself out of his state of shock to follow the EMTs out of the apartment building and to the ambulance.

"Please, I need to go with him, he's like a brother to me," Wilbur said, holding back another sob.

"Alright sir, just stay calm," the EMT said. They led Wilbur into the ambulance where Tubbo now was and had him sit down. The vehicle began to move. Wilbur watched as the two EMTs in the back took care of Tubbo's cuts, which looked awful. There was blood all over him, and some on Wilbur's hands and pants too.

"Sir, you said that you think he overdosed, do you know what he overdosed on?"

"I- I saw an empty bottle of Sertraline next to him on the floor. 100 Milligrams." The woman nodded and quickly wrote that down on a clipboard. Wilbur wiped tears from his face with his sleeve and reached out for Tubbo's blood-covered hand. He was so scared.