Slater | Nick Goode

The Art of Regret

     A bottle of tequila held it's place in Ellie's hand as she sat with her knees to her chest. Tears were running down her face as her breathing fastened.
    The door opened with a click, and a breeze came from doorway, whipping Ellie's hair around.
     "Ellie?" A voice came from the, now closed, door.
     Nick's head emerged from behind the desk.
     "What... the fuck?" He asked, leaning over and looking at the mess of a woman, "are you... okay?"
     "I'm perfectly fine," Ellie mumbled, taking another swig of the tequila.
     "Yeah, you definitely look like it," Nick half chuckled, criss crossing himself beside her.
     Today was the 13th anniversary of the Camp Nightwing massacre, and Ellie was on the verge of a breakdown, like she had been all day.
      "Do you.." he stopped abruptly, looking at her in her eyes, then taking the bottle from her and placing it on the ground next to him, "give me this. Do you want to talk about it?"
      "There's nothing to talk about," she stubbornly stated, wiping the tears from her eyes and straightening her posture, "I'm fine."
      "Listen.. today must be really tough for you. I couldn't even imagine."
      "It's really tough for a lot of people, not just me," Ellie whispered.
      A strand of hair got mixed with her tears, and Nick pushed it back behind her ear, "Tommy wouldn't want to see you like this."
      Ellie's bottom lip quivered, and she squeezed her eyes shut, "I know."
      "Hey, hey, hey," Nick embraced her in his arms, resting his chin on the top of her head as she let out little cries in his chest.
      "Fuck," she cried, wrapping her arms around his neck. His left hand rubbed circles on her back while his right soothed her hair, "I can't believe that happened to him."
      "I know."
      "He deserved to live, Nick. I wish that.. whatever the fuck it was that happened to him, I wish it happened to me. Tommy was so sweet. He was... he was Tommy. And he doesn't deserve to go down as the guy who went crazy."
       Nick didn't say anything, so Ellie continued to ramble, "today, I did my usual route. I went by I-47, there was a robbery at Hamon's, you know, the corner store. I went to check it out, and..." she sniffled, "the dude who robbed the store had a gun. The cashier was only about 18 or 19. She looked so scared, but when she saw me, she looked even more terrified. It's like.."
        She took her head out of the crook of his neck and looked up at him. A small laugh escaped her lips, even though nothing was funny, "it's like my fucked up legacy. My destiny, and I'll never get to escape it."
        "That is not your destiny, Ellie. What happened that night was... supernatural. It's not something hereditary, it's not your legacy."
        "The first time my dad hit me, Tommy walked me to that cookie place on Main St.. He gave me a long talk about letting people walk all over me. And so, the next time my dad hit me, I hit him back."
        Nick's heart felt like it stopped for a few moments, and more tears streamed down Ellie's face as she continued, "I missed two weeks of school because he broke my wrist and one of my teeth. When the nurse asked me what happened, I had to tell her I fell down a flight of stairs."
        Nick sucked in a breath and pulled Ellie even closer to him, she was practically on top of him, "when I lived with Ms. Lane, I would sometimes catch her staring at me while I slept. She told me that it was because I looked to much like Ruby. I always thought that she was crazy. Until my dad went on a trip to Italy for a week, and I spent a night at my old house. She had a friend stay the night as well, and that friend had a son, he was about 20. He slept in Tommy's old bed."
         More hot tears slid down her face, she sobbed, "I sat and watched him for an hour. I prayed that he would wake up and make a stupid dad joke. I hoped that he'd pour me a cup of orange juice and then rush me to the door so he could make it to work on time."
        Nick's hand reached for hers and he held it closer to his face, kissing her knuckles, "he didn't. He got up, got ready, and left. He just fucking left."
       Tears were forming in Nick's eyes as he watched her try and wipe away her own, "why does it feel like it'll never get better? He's never coming back, so it'll never get better. Everyone keeps saying that it will. But it won't, not until time reverses and Tommy is alive again. It won't."
         "I can't promise that you'll ever feel like it will," Nick sniffled and wiped a tear from Ellie's face with his free hand, "but I'll never leave your side. And I'll do my best to make you feel better."
         "Shit, I got... tears on your shirt."
         "I don't mind," Nick chuckled, putting his forehead against hers and gliding his hand up and down her arm.

{October 13, 2021. 11:15 p.m.. 911 words.}
:)
Forgive me pls.
Second book:
{Psycho} | Nick Goode
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