Don't Give Up

Chapter One

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So this is my second book and it's something different. I really like The 100 and I ship Bellarke, pretty hard. So hopefully you all lovely people stick with me and enjoy this book.
Ari
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<Clarke's P.O.V.>
"Bellamy!!"

"Bellamy!!" I scream. The tears are streaming down my bloody face. I'm hiding behind the crate watching how a Grounder beats Bellamy to death.
"He's killing him." I whisper, and he falls to the ground only to be picked up and beaten again. As he is laying on the ground he looks up at me. His eyes are looking straight into mine and that just makes me cry harder.
"Go, Clarke. Go!" He screams trying to defend himself from the Grounder who is twice his size. I just and shake my head 'no'. I am not leaving without him. I'm not leaving him behind. Not Bellamy. I don't move, but I know that if I don't go now we all will be killed. Each and every one of us. I don't what is better die right here with Bellamy or face a world without him.
"Clarke I said go!" He screams one last time before Jasper drags me into the dropship. I close the door and tell him to fire the rockets. I lean against the closed door and cry. I'm never going to see those brown eyes, black curls that get in his eyes, and feel him beside me. I left behind the person who I need most, the only person who seen the worst in me.
"Jasper I swear if those rockets won't light I will personally break your hands." Raven croaks out as Monty and Octavia are holding her, trying to stop the internal bleeding from the bullet wound.
And just like that the dropship shakes and the rockets ignite. I'm not holding onto anything but I don't need to, Bellamy keeps me grounded. And just like that I fall to the ground. It's hurts too much, emotionally I'm breaking inside and that causes my physical pain. The hot tears trailing down my cheeks, sting and I try to wipe them away. But as I do, new ones replace the old ones. The old wounds of losing Bellamy are reopened, as I left him out there. He told me to leave him, I never should have. If the positions were flipped he wouldn't go, he would fight for me. For us. But what did I do? I ran. And I am supposed to be a leader to the remainder of The 100. I need Bellamy to balance me out, to be the one who's willing to go the lengths to protect everyone I this camp. To protect me. To protect his sister. I look over to where Octavia is sitting, and she is already looking at me. She knows that Bellamy is out there. She knows that he has two options, stay and fight and die or run. Run to save himself to come back to her. Come back to me. This all hurts just as much as the day I watched my dad get floated for protecting everyone else. And now Bellamy was doing the same, leaving me and Octavia. The only people he truly cared about. The only two people who cares about him more than anything. And he's not coming back. I didn't have a choice, he made it for me.
After minutes passed, to me felt like hours, the shaking stopped and Jasper motions for me that it's safe to open the dropship door. I pull the lever and walk out. Everything within meer yards is fried. The carcasses of the Grounders are laying on the burnt ground, I walk to see where I last saw Bellamy, I don't want to believe that one of them is his. But the realization that he might be dead hits me again. That either way I will never see him again. Octavia will never see her brother, who shot the Chancellor to come to Earth with her. Who made sacrifices other wouldn't dare to protect his little sister. I will never see my partner. Never get to make another decision together, and discuss the plans. And I'm sure as hell won't hear him call me Princess again. He called me by my name just before he told me to leave him. Last time I heard him call me Princess was this morning when we were making a decision on whether to stay and fight or run. My knees collide with the ground and my face is buried in my hands. The sobs are wrecking me even more and Octavia comes over to me and holds me.
"He made it out. He always does." Her voice is shaky and I know she has been crying as well. "We will find him if he did. You will find him. You both to seem to find each other no matter what." She tries to laugh but it only makes her sob.
"He told me to go. I left him here to die. It's all my fault." I whisper not intending for her to hear.
"Clarke it's not your fault. He made the choice, he always makes the hard ones himself. You couldn't so he did. You both saved our lives and somehow deep down I believe that he is still alive." Octavia tries to confront me.
"I should've stayed. Fought with him. I should've fought for him."
Dumb, stupid, idiotic, selfish Clarke. I left him because he told me to. When did I ever listen to him? I listen to him when he looks at me the way he looked at me and told me to go. His eyes meeting mine and holding the stare. I could see that it was hard for him to see me go, but at the same time he needed me to go. Needed me to be safe, to make sure Octavia was too. His look told me everything I needed to know.
"May we meet again."
That's what we said instead of goodbyes. It means that you better not die, because we are not allowed to. Neither me nor Bellamy. Actually none of us are, but me and Bellamy above all.
"I won't stop looking for him. Even if it kills me." I say and wipe my face with my sleeve, I know it just spreads the blood and diets across my face but I don't care. I was not gonna give up. That's not what Bellamy taught me. To not give up and push to the finish. "I'm not giving up on Bell. I'm gonna get him back, Octavia. And none of you are gonna stop me. I'm going alone." I stand up and Octavia follows.
"Like hell you are. I'm coming with you. And so is Jasper and Monty." She shakes me and I look at her. And in these moment she resembles her brother. The fearless and strong. Just like Bellamy.
"No, I promised Bellamy I will keep you safe." I say taking her hands off me.
"And where is the safest place if it's not with you? You kept all of us safe." She says.
"Not all of us." I sadly reply and look at the ground.
"We are getting him back. And we are doing it together." And with that she walks off to find Jasper and Monty. I look up at the sky and close my eyes.
"May we meet again." I whisper just for me to hear. And the. I hear cans hitting the ground and exploding with red smoke.
I see the members of The 100 fall to the ground and soon I'm back down there.
Don't give up Clarke.
Fight at least this time.
Fight for him.
Bellamy.
Fight for him.
But I can't and then the last thing I see is creatures in gas masks pointing guns at me and I pass out. Everything goes black but I remember one thing.
Don't give up Clarke.
Don't give up on Bellamy.