𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮..𝙙.𝙢

forty four.

Draco's pov

He isn't sure what to do. Isn't sure what it feel. And if he's being honest with himself he doesn't feel anything. Hasn't in weeks. And he doesn't understand how emptiness can be so fucking heavy.

Watching her fall apart like that was worse then finding her in his room that night. Worse then all the bad days and moments he's had combined.

Because he's never seen her this broken.

And he isn't sure what to do. But he doesn't try to make her feel better. Because he knows he cant. Cant whisper pretty false lies in her ear and tell her its all going to be okay. Tell her there going to make it out of this.

Because its not.

And it wont for a long time. He isn't even sure it will ever get better.

Has no idea what's in store for them in the future. He cant even see past a few hours of the day.

All there is is pain and worry pain and worry. That's all its ever been for him.

Until her.

And seeing her like this has broken him too. Broken him a little more each day.

Even if he was already cracked before.

But he stays with her.

No matter how much it hurts to see her like this. No matter how hard it gets to breathe when she cry's herself to sleep. When she wakes up gasping for air like she's just re lived the moment in her dreams.

Because he knows she needs him. By the way she reaches for him in the night. By the way she holds him so tight it hurts.

He knows.  Feels the pain of the loss too. Feels it so strongly it hurts to breathe. Hurts to do anything.

So he stays.

Because he needs her as much as she needs him.

paisleys pov

Its been days.

Days since she's gotten out of bed.

Days since she's eaten.

Days since she lost their baby.

And she's lost.

Thinks she's been lost for a while now. And she isn't sure when she lost her way. But she did.

She did.

She knows she should get up. Snap out of this downward spiral she's in. But she cant bring herself to get up. Get out. Feels as though she may never get out and feel anything other then this pain.

So she sits and she stays. And she sleeps and she cry's and she finally lets it all out. All of the emotions she's had bottled up for years. Lets herself feel all of it. Thinks that its finally time that she dose.

Because pain is ugly and it demands to be felt. And she's ignored it for far to long. So she lets it out. Lets herself feel it all. No matter how overwhelming it is. No matter how much it hurts. And she fights the urge to shut it all out again. Fights to build those walls again.

Because she knows.

Knows what it's like to keep it all locked up. Knows how it becomes a storm in your soul. And so she fights. Fights not to shove it all in a bottle and put it away. To let it fester in the back of her mind.

So she doesn't. And she lets herself feel it all.

And he's there with her throughout it all.

Every scream; every ugly emotion she goes through.

He's there.

one week later...

Shes lying on his chest when she wakes. Can hear the steady beat of his heart. Feel the hand rubbing her back softly. Caressing her. 

And he's watching her. Seems as though he's been watching her for a few hours.

And when she finally sits up, decides she can no longer lay in this bed and watch him watch her break.

So she decides to break the cycle of never ending despair and gets out of bed. Stands on her legs for the first time in weeks and walks to the bathroom and flicks the shower on. Watches the water fall and lets out a soft sigh. Decides she's going to be okay and turns back to get Draco who's still in bed with a look of relief that she's finally up. She reaches out a hand and waits for him to get up and take it.

And he does. He lets her lead him back into the bathroom. Lets him undress her and in return she does the same for him. She steps into the warm water and makes room for him and just lets the water run over her skin. Lets it wash her clean. She grabs the bottle of shampoo and hands it to him looks into his familiar eyes and turns around. Lets him lather the sweet smelling soap into her hair and then she rinses it out. Dose the same in return for him.

And they fall back into there routine.

Back into there older habits. Habits they'll always fall back into.

Because if there's one thing that will never change. Never stop.

Is there love for each other.