Blind to You

Twin Prides

Jiang Cheng woke to the scratching of pen on paper. His body felt better, which he attributed to the spiritual energy everyone was giving him, but his neck still harbored a dull ache. He was once again grateful to discover that he could see; it appeared this illness only ailed him at the least convenient times.

It turned out that Wei Wuxian was the one scribbling at the desk. Jiang Cheng was briefly disappointed not to see Lan Xichen, but he squashed that thought before it developed further.

"You're using my nice pens," he grunted, startling Wei Wuxian enough that he dropped the pen.
"Oh! You're awake."
"Obviously."

His brother gave a small smile as he moved to sit in the chair previously occupied by Lan Xichen, right next to the bed.

"Listen, A-Cheng-"
"Help me get up," Jiang Cheng interrupted. If they were going to have this conversation, he did not want to be forced to look at Wei Wuxian the whole time. Besides, his legs weren't injured, and it was dark out. No one would care if they went for a walk.

Pretty soon, they were out in the halls of Lotus Pier, Jiang Cheng leaning heavily on his brother, but otherwise walking just fine. They made their way to an empty courtyard that skirted the edge of the buildings, with smooth stone benches to look out at the lake. A twisting tree curved above the seats, forcing the pale moonlight to shine even weaker. It was dark, exactly what Jiang Cheng was hoping for.

They sat in silence for who knows how long. It was Jiang Cheng who spoke first.
"You know what I used to want more than anything?" He didn't wait for a response. "I wanted my father to pull me aside and… and tell me that he was proud of me." The lotuses drifting lazily on the lake surface were almost glowing. "Just once to see me as I was, not what I was lacking."

Wuxian shifted beside him, but stayed quiet.
"That's why I worked so hard at Cloud Recesses. I thought that maybe he would see that I was trying, that I was doing well…" Jiang Cheng let out a humorless chuckle. "You know, Lan Qiren is the only person to like me more than you."

This time, Wei Wuxian took a breath to speak, but Jiang Cheng held up a hand. "Wait. Before you go and blame yourself for my shortcomings, let me explain… that was what I did want. Even though I wasn't smart, I definitely wasn't stupid enough to think I would ever get it. I gave up when I realized that all I wanted was to be with you and Jiejie. The three of us against the world." This hurt. This hurt so bad, to admit his most guarded secret. "But I lost you both that day. And I might have pretended that I was glad you were gone, but… but I didn't leave Lotus Pier for days… not until they brought me Jin Ling."

The light that was dancing across the glass surface of Lotus Lake was truly ethereal. Reflections of flowers and lily pads made the lake almost look otherworldly, like there was another universe peeking just below the surface. Jiang Cheng wanted to show it to Lan Xichen.

"Why did you do it, Wei Wuxian? Why did you give me your core?" The abrupt change in topic shocked them both.
"Because you're my brother, Jiang Cheng. Because I love you. Because you were so… empty without your cultivation… did you think I could just leave you there?"

Jiang Cheng stood, frustration bleeding from his shoulders. "That's a half-assed excuse," he spat. "I see that you also thought little of me. Didn't…" he hated that he was choking on these words. "Didn't you even care about what I did? Did it truly mean nothing to you?"

Wei Wuxian stood as well, grabbing his arm in an attempt to turn him. It didn't work. "I don't know what you're talking about, A-Cheng. What did you do?"
Jiang Cheng's agitated breathing filled the air. "I didn't go back to Lotus Pier. I told you, I wasn't an idiot. The Wen soldiers were about to discover you… what else was I supposed to do? I knew the risk…" it was more like he was talking to himself now.