Blind to You

Dependability

A/N: my deepest apologies for the delay! Honestly school and life are really crazy, and this just got away from me. Hopefully, you can expect another update within the next couple of days. :) Thanks for your patience and happy reading!

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Jiang Cheng was familiar with darkness. At many of the pivotal moments in his life, he remembered darkness. The night he and JieJie found Wei Wuxian up some tree, it was so dark he could hardly see in front of him. When he was cast onto the dirty floor of a prison in the halls of his own home, blood caking his chest and back, he knew the dark.

When the Sunshot Campaign ended after months of gruesome battles and horrifying deaths, after losing the two people he thought he could never lose, after collapsing from exhaustion on the floor of his room, it was dark. He was so tired of it.

But it appeared his life was to be marred with darkness.

XXX

Lan Xichen was pacing, his soft shoes padding against the floorboards. He occasionally stopped, looked down at his hand, then continued pacing.
“Brother,” Wangji said from his spot on the floor. He sat in the Lotus Position, every part of him calm save the concerned furrow of his brow. “Trust in Uncle.”

“I’m trying to, Wangji,” Xichen replied, somewhat shakily. “How could I not worry? I could lose him.”
His little brother was silent for a brief second before standing and bowing to Xichen. “I apologize.”

“Please don’t bow to me. What are you apologizing for?” They never bowed to each other in casual conversation. Xichen hated gestures like that from people he held dear, feeling that he was not worthy of such acknowledgement.

Wangji stubbornly refused to straighten his back. “I have acted unrighteously.” He glanced up, holding eye contact. “I cannot forgive him so easily, but it is…” Lan Zhan took a breath. “It is hard to miss his guilt.”

Xichen gently forced his hands down. “I understand. You are not required to forgive anyone. The past is… painful.”
“I want to forgive him. For Brother. For Wei Ying.”
“That’s very considerate of you,” Lan Xichen smiled. “But you should forgive him for yourself, too.” He gained a faraway look in his eyes. “Resentment only festers.”

Lan Zhan frowned. He didn’t mean to cause that sad, removed look in his older brother’s gaze. Even if resentment festered, there was one person Wangji would always resent. One person who had hurt his only brother so intimately as to send him into seclusion and cause that look in his eyes. He would never forgive Meng Yao.

But regardless, Meng Yao was dead. Wangji could not change the past, he could only help Xichen now.
“Sect Leader Jiang… will live.”

“Zewu-Jun!” A servant burst into the room, interrupting them. “You’re needed. It’s-“
Xichen was already out the door, walking very quickly to the medical room where Wei Wuxian greeted him. “Xichen-ge,” he said anxiously.

Jin Ling, who was seated on the floor near the doorway, jumped up at the commotion.
“You shouldn’t be here for this part, A-Ling,” Wuxian said seriously, no trace of his usual upbeat tone. Looking back at Xichen, he continued, “We’ve prepared everything for removal… A-Cheng has to be awake for the next part.”

Lan Xichen tried not to be too horrified; his uncle had warned them this was a possibility. But it was going to be extremely painful. More than that, he did not know if he could bear to see it happen. Xichen would rather kneel under the wrath of his elders than see Wanyin in pain. But it was better than death.

Jiang Cheng was already covered in a thin sheen of cold sweat when they entered. He periodically clenched and unclenched his fist, breathing through tight lips.