Taking Control

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Author's Note: Ahhh I'm almost at 2K reads, you guys are amazing! :) hope you like the slightly fluffy very slightly smutty chapter, I figured the last thing anyone needed right now was more drama- just saying ;) also Louis' twitter sass last night was fabulous <3 Hope everyone's doing well :) 

"Harry?" Lou called out, stepping into Harry's hotel room. 

He didn't hear a response so he checked the bedroom. He was hoping to see Harry sprawled out on the bed, maybe reading a book or writing something in his journal, but the bed was empty. 

Louis' heart sunk, and he raced into the bathroom. 

"Haz?" he said as he opened the door. 

Harry was on the cool tile floor, slumped up against the wall, his eyes only open slightly. 

"Hey, babe, it's okay, I'm right here." 

"Don't call me that," Harry said, his voice soft and his eyes still closed. 

"Are you okay?" Louis asked, sitting down on the floor next to him. 

Harry shook his head slowly. 

"Do you need-" Louis started. 

"Can you just get Liam?" Harry interrupted. 

"But, Harry- I'm right here, you can talk to me." 

"I don't want to talk to you." Harry said slowly, as though Louis were dense for not understanding. His hands wrapped around his stomach, and Louis could see a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead. "Can you go get Niall or Liam please?" 

"Babe-" Louis started. 

"I said don't call me that," Harry said sharply. 

"Harry," Louis said softly. "I'm really sorry for what happened the other night. I thought about it a lot, and you were right... I was just being scared and irrational and we are special, and I'm really sorry." 

"Why was your first instinct to get rid of me as soon as something bad happened?" Harry asked quietly. 

"Because I'm scared." Louis said simply. "This whole thing terrifies me for a million different reasons, but I'm all in now, okay?" 

"Lou, I don't feel well," Harry said, his voice sounding a little panicked. 

"Do you want me to leave you alone?" Louis asked, squeezing Harry's hand gently. 

"No," Harry whimpered. He clutched his stomach and moved until he was kneeling over the toilet. 

Louis gathered Harry's soft curls together and held them at the nape of his neck, and with the other hand, rubbed Harry's stomach gently. 

"Can you keep it down for me, hunny?" Louis asked as Harry started lurching forward. 

"No," Harry moaned, and Louis could feel his stomach contract. 

"It's okay," Louis murmured as Harry got sick. 

"Are you done now, do you think?" Louis asked carefully, after waiting a little bit. 

Harry took a moment, then nodded. 

"Let's get you up," Louis said, and helped Harry off the floor, flushing the toilet for him. 

Harry took a slow breath and started brushing his teeth. His eyes were red and Lou could tell he was trying not to cry. 

"What's wrong?" Louis asked, rubbing Harry's arm gently. 

"It's just," Harry sighed. "It's just embarrassing." 

"Why?" Louis asked, wrapping his hand around Harry's waist from behind. They stayed like this and talked to each other through the mirror.  

"Because," Harry huffed and Louis could see his curls flutter, "You want to do this...right? You want to be... partners?" 

"Yes," Louis said clearly. "I thought about everything and I'm really sorry for how confused I was before. I want to do this." 

"See it's just, I've never let anyone I've been with see... this." 

"I don't mind this," Louis said, running his hands up Harry's sides and resting them on Harry's shoulders. He still wasn't used to how tall Harry was. "I don't like seeing you in pain and I don't like it when you do anything to hurt yourself- but it doesn't make me think any less of you, I mean, I can see how hard you've been trying to get better." 

"I just," Harry started. "No, it's stupid." He turned to leave, but Lou caught him halfway out the bathroom by the wrist. 

"Tell me," Louis insisted. 

"It's just," Harry lowered his voice even though they were the only two in the room. "I just sometimes get worried that you won't find me... I don't know... sexy," Harry's cheeks burned a furious shade of pink, and he turned his eyes down to look at the floor. "Because you've seen me get sick like a billion times now, and you've seen me cry over soda crackers, and binge eat and just," Harry ran his fingers through his long curls. "I don't know," he finished. 

"Are you seriously worried that you're not sexy?" Louis asked, his eyebrows raising in surprise. "Because I've seen you shirtless and I've seen you in a suit, and the other night at the concert in those tight jeans and those angel wings... God, Haz... you just don't understand what it does to me." 

"Well you're the one who didn't want to-" 

"That's different," Louis said quietly. "That has absolutely nothing to do with you." 

"And it has nothing to do with if I'm into, into, um, different things?" Harry asked quietly. 

"You can have as many fetishes as you want babe, someday I'll make sure we get to all of them," Louis said, smiling. 

Harry's pupils swole up and he looked away from Louis, blushing again. 

"What are you thinking about?" Louis asked, stepping closer to Harry. "Hmm?" 

"Thinking about you," Harry murumured. 

"Thinking about me doing what?" Louis asked, biting his lip. "Use your words, babe." 

"You being in control," Harry said, his voice rough and quiet. 

"You like that don't you?" Louis asked, running his hands up Harry's chest, his shirt riding up as his hands moved, the vine tattoos exposed on Harry's hips. 

"Mhm," Harry moaned, tipping his head up as Louis kissed his neck. 

Lou took Harry by the neck and steered him out into the hallway, kissing him as they went. Harry's eyes flitted to the bedroom. "Are we...?" he asked carefully. 

"Not yet," Louis said, hoping he wasn't letting Harry down. 

"Okay, it's okay," Harry said, smiling as he took Louis' hand in his. He loved the way their sleeve of tattoos lined up, like all their stories were blending into one every time they held hands. His other hand cupped Louis' chin, feeling the rough stubble under his fingers as he kissed him. Even though Harry was the one who had to tip his head down for the kiss, Louis was definitely the one in control. 

The front door popped open, and Louis quickly stepped away from Harry. 

It was Liam, holding a hand over his eyes. "Are we all decent?" he asked, before uncovering his eyes. "I just needed to come get Harry to let him know we need to go back to the stage to readjust some of the levels. Since he doesn't have a phone still." 

"Dammit," Harry murmured. 

"We'll pick up where we left off after the show," Louis whispered in Harry's ear before gently tugging his earlobe with his teeth. "Okay?" 

"Okay," Harry said, trying to pull himself together so he wouldn't be a mess before the concert. "One more thing?" Harry asked before they followed Liam out. 

"Yeah?" Louis asked, biting his bottom lip. 

"Give me my fucking phone back." Harry glared. 

Louis laughed and left the room with Harry in tow. 

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