Late Mornings and Waffles

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Harry stayed in bed long enough that Lou started to worry. Louis slipped quietly into his room around 10:30 to check on him. Harry didn't usually stay in bed too much past then even when he was sleeping in.

Louis sighed and sat down on the floor next to Harry's bed. He played games on his phone for a little while until he got bored. Then he had an idea. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea or not but it was an idea.

Louis quietly slipped out of Harry's room and into the kitchen. He pulled open the oak cabinets and got out some sugar and flour and a recipe book his mom had bought him as a Christmas present once. Waffles... waffles... Louis flipped through until he found the recipe. He measured carefully and rinsed off the waffle maker in case it had gotten dusty over the years. As well stocked as their kitchen was, the guys usually stuck to takeout. But Harry told Louis once that waffles were his favorite.  

Louis measured everything like he were measuring out ingredients in a science experiment.  He wanted everything to be perfect. His stomach growled as he dripped the batter onto the waffle maker. Drumming his fingers against the granite countertop, he looked up at the microwave clock. It was past 11:00 now and Harry was still in bed.

After Louis had finished turning the batter into waffles, he put one waffle each on two plates and closed the leftovers into a container. Louis knew he'd probably sneak into the kitchen in about half an hour to eat two or three more but when he ate with Harry he liked to try and match what he was eating- show him it was okay. Sometimes that meant Louis was hungry for a while until he could be alone and sometimes that meant he had to eat soda crackers with Harry after he'd already ate a large meal Harry wouldn't touch. The important thing was to never make Harry eat by himself.

He slipped back into Harry's room, and saw that he was still sleeping. His curls were splayed across his pillow, his tattooed arms looked like ink splashed canvases tangled in his white sheets. Harry liked his bed to resemble a hotel bed so that when they were touring it felt easier and more familiar to fall asleep.

Louis set the plates down on the nightstand and crawled into the bed with his friend. When Harry still didn't wake up, Louis slid under the covers. Harry was radiating warmth like a heat lamp and Louis scooched closer.

"Goodmorning Haz," he singsonged, gently rubbing Harry's shoulders. "Wake up."

"Mmm," Harry murmured and curled up into Louis.

Louis played with Harry's curls. "Please?" he aksed, even through he was struck by the realization that when Harry woke up he'd probably stop curling up with him. What the hell? Louis thought and tried to wriggle away from Harry's grasp. It shouldn't matter to him. He suddenly felt uncomfortable with Harry's arms around him and he shook him awake a little more roughly than he should have.

"What's wrong, Boo?" Harry asked, pulling himself closer to Louis. He knew he should give his friend a bit more space, but Harry just wanted to be held, he was so tired.

"Nothing's wrong", Louis said clearing his throat.

"Good," Harry said and closed his eyes again, his curls spread out against Louis's chest.

"I made you waffles." Louis said, hesitation in his voice.

Harry's green eyes popped open and he sat up in bed. He shifted away from Louis.

"Come on, Haz," Louis said. "I just need you to do this for me."

Harry looked at Louis's hair... it had a smudge of flour in it. He must've been up all morning baking for him. He held out his hands and picked up the plate. He waited until Louis had his plate too... waited until Louis took a bite and looked up at him expectently.

Harry slowly started picking at his waffle. He knew it was his favourite breakfast food- he remembered telling that to Louis a long time ago, before he'd gotten worse. But right now it felt heavy in his stomach, like he could feel every last bite just sitting there.

Louis heard his own stomach growl angrily. He was eating slowly, pacing himself with Harry, bite for bite. He felt like he was going to burst if he didn't get more food into him. He couldn't imagine how Harry must be feeling, he was a lot taller and he worked out enough. When they were touring it was always non-stop running around. Louis could see Harry's collarbones jut out above his swallow tattoos more than they should have. He picked apart the last bit of his waffle, swallowed and looked up at Louis.

Louis smiled at Harry and took the plates out of the room as quickly as he could. It wasn't good to leave plates or food scraps around. While he was in the kitchen, Louis quickly scarfed down another waffle, and returned to Harry's room where he saw his friend pulling on his black skinny jeans. They weren't skinny enough, as they kept sliding off his hips while Harry searched for a belt.  

Louis knew that they used to fit. He'd been with Harry when he bought them. But Harry's problem was only getting worse.

At first, Louis thought it was stage fright. At first, it probably was stage fright. Haz had looked so young and so scared- and he was. Then the albums passed, and the tours went on and Louis knew it was taking a toll. He knew Harry stayed up at night on his phone sometimes, scrolling through all the mean tweets and the nasty comments. He knew Harry got anxious about being good enough about being talented enough about being attractive enough. The way Louis saw it, Harry only got mean comments because he was too good, too talented, and too attractive. Sometimes Louis worried that Harry felt unworthy of eating.

He looked up at Haz as he slipped on a loose v-neck t-shirt. Too much collarbone... way too much collarbone.

"Did you want to do something today?" he asked brightly.

Harry bit his lip, and swept a hand through his hair. "I don't know, Loubear, what do you want to do?"

Louis felt a squirming in his stomach that he couldn't identify. "Umm..." he said, thinking. All of the things in the world seemed to involve food all of a sudden. It was such a social thing, he had no idea what to do to distract Hazza from it. "You can decide." he said. 

Harry's eyes lit up with amusement, and Louis wondered what he had just agreed to.

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