Don't Give Up On Me

Chapter 35

Monday 1:18AM

It was over halfway through the night, and Lexie still insisted on burying her feelings at the bar. She tottered dangerously on the barstool, practically leaning on Mark's strong arm for support.

Mark on the other hand, had sobered up hours ago, now only drinking water and decaf coffee as Lexie continued to spiral.

"Hey Lex, maybe we should get you home. You'll feel much better after we get some food and sleep in you." Mark whispered, placing a hand on her forearm before she could lift another shot to her lips.

"Suck it Mark." Lexie grumbled, downing the liquor with her other hand. Mark just sighed incredulously, resting his head on his hand. As he shifted on the chair, Lexie caught a glimpse of someone behind him. She sprang to her feet, wobbling slightly as Mark placed a steadying hand on her back.

"Steve!" She slurred across the bar. The curly haired intern spun around, appearing to be equally intoxicated.

"Hi Lex." He grinned, taking a few steps forward.

"I heard you pitched to Doctor Shepherd today, about a treatment plan for Meredith's glioblastoma. Tell me about it!" Lexie practically shouted over the loud bar noises. Steve paled, his eyes widening.

"Didn't you hear? I researched it further, only .5% of patients had favorable outcomes. Doctor Shepherd says it's too risky, he might even be taking Meredith home on hospice." Steve hiccuped. Lexie's lip quivered as she spun on her heel, and stumbled back to the bar where she collapsed into the seat and laid her head down on the counter.

Mark rubbed her back soothingly, frowning when Lexie's shoulders began to shake with sobs. Suddenly, she sat straight up and looked towards Mark with wide, teary eyes.

"Black cover, Volume 6, page... uhh.. Oh! 134! Mark, we gotta go!" Lexie exclaimed, suddenly sobered by excitement.

"Lexie, what are you talking about?" Mark asked, slightly alarmed. Lexie just tugged at the collar of his shirt, urging him to stand.

"A book in the library, I remember reading it during my Med-student rotation. Page 134 talks about a clinical trial for glioblastomas, Mark. We gotta find that book!" She shouted frantically.

Mark stood from his stool, slapped a wad of cash on the counter, and ran after Lexie as she pushed through the bar doors into the gloomy Seattle night.

—-

Lexie sighed as she tossed to the side yet another useless book. There was a surprising amount of black, 6th Volume medical journals in the library, and they still hadn't found the right one.

Lexie was so immersed in reading that she hardly noticed as Mark rolled an infusion pole into the library, quickly starting an IV and hanging a banana bag so she wouldn't feel hungover.

"So much for my photographic memory." Lexie sighed, dropping her head into her hands. Exasperatedly, she grabbed another book, flipping to the 134th page and skimming.

"Oh my god, Mark." She muttered. He was quickly at her side, reading the book over her shoulder.

"Gamma radiation and drug therapy clinical trial, in phase 2 at Johns Hopkins." He read aloud.

"This is it Mark." Lexie breathed.

—-

Derek sat by Meredith's bedside as she slept. His pen hovered over a stack of papers, his hand shaking slightly. Discharge papers.

He knew this was what Meredith wanted. Her tumor was inoperable. The only treatment option wasn't going to work. The cancer was terminal, and she would die. Soon.

Derek imagined their last days together, in the comforts of her house. The beeping monitor and sterile scrubs replaced with their dog, Tito, fuzzy blankets, and peace.

Yet still, Derek couldn't bring himself to sign the discharge papers. It felt like giving up on her. He let the pen drop from his hand, sighing as he leaned back in the chair.

Derek looked over at Meredith, who just seemed to be waking up. "Hey." Derek forced a smile.

"Hi." Meredith whispered. She looked so frail, so weak, and in so much pain that it could break his heart.

"Ready to go home?" He asked, trying to hide the way his voice cracked. "H-home? I...home?" Meredith asked.

Derek smiled sadly. He knew the tumor was affecting everything. "Yeah, we're going home. No more hospitals." He replied.

"Derek?" Meredith asked weakly. "Yeah?" He replied, smoothing back her hair. "Me...I'm.....gonna die..." She whispered, tears pooling in her eyes.

Derek held back a sob and looked her in the eyes. "Yeah. You are, Mer." Derek said honestly. "I....don't want." Meredith said, tears now rolling down her face.

"I know. I don't want you to either. But I'll be with the whole time, Mer. I won't let you go alone." He said. This was by far the hardest conversation he'd ever have in his entire life.

"Don't want...to die." Meredith said as she began crying openly. Derek wiped a hand over his face and climbed into bed gently next to her.

"Don't be scared, Mer. These next few weeks..." he started, his voice breaking "these next few weeks are going to be free if hospitals. Just you and me and our friends. You won't be alone when it happens." Derek assured as he cried.

"Ow." Meredith cried as she shifted in the bed. "I know, I know. I love you." He whispered, pressing the button on her PCA pump. He felt her body relax and fall asleep.

Derek climbed out of bed and leant on the wall before sliding down and sobbing into his hands. His fiancée was dying. She was going to die.

He picked himself up minutes later and sat down, starring blankly ahead.

"Don't take her home! I found a treatment!" Lexie exclaimed as she rushed into the room, mark behind her. Dereks head shot up. "You found a treatment?" He breathed.

"I think so. I think it could save her."

Hey guys! First off, very sorry for the lack of updates. I'm trying to work stuff out with my cowriter, and we're both busy. Just please stay patient with this and comment any ideas you have for future chapters. Hope you guys enjoyed.