His Little Neighbour

six

It was around three a.m. in midnight, and Ginny was snoring softly near his legs as she cuddled him tightly. Sleep was far away from Murat's eyes. His mind couldn't stop thinking about how boring his life has become now. He rolled on the other side, disturbing his cat, who meowed in her sleep.

The sparkling star stickers on his ceiling was a great distraction at that moment. It was so green and sparkling. But his mind drifted off to what kept him bothered all day.

Why are you so moody and annoyed these days? It was a simple question that his mother asked naively this morning and he was speechless for a while, unable to answer her properly.  It took him by shock as realization dawned upon him.

He was not happy.

How did it take him so long to realise that?

It's been four months since he last smiled. Since he laughed heartily. Since he felt relaxed or happy. He was not happy for so long. What a pity it was. He felt so pathetic. It hurt. But he wanted this hurt to be gone. He wanted to be happy. Again.

Happiness was a choice. Ups and downs are a part and parcel of life anyway. How you're going to handle things is what matters. And Murat was trying so hard to let go of things that are holding him back from being happy. It was very frustrating, but he wanted to come out of this darkness that he has surrounded himself with.

He wanted his happiness back. And no one but him can do that. He wanted to work on himself, to make himself a better person. He didn't want to be known as the bitter ex-boyfriend. He wanted to let it all go. He should choose to be happy. It was one of the best self-realisations he has ever had.

Murat has messaged his assistant immediately and gave him all the responsibilities for two whole weeks. He decided to go for a long, long drive. 

He left Ginny at Chris's mother's caretaking. She loved cats and was always willing to take care of her for him. 

Two weeks seem to pass in a blur as he spent the time with the things he liked doing the most, things that defined him. His cheerfulness. His wild and outgoing behaviour. He went trekking with his group of close friends, built a treehouse in the middle of the jungle, jumped off a cliff and swam until his limbs begged him not to. It was relieving in its own way. He liked to swim, a lot.

And God that was the much-needed break he had in two long years. So wild and crazy, just like him.

He used to be this person once upon a time. Now all he could remember doing was work, work and work. He turned into something that he is not. Fame and success have turned him into the worst possible human. He had neglected his duties as a son, as a brother and as an uncle. He had drowned himself in so much work that even the supposed love of his life didn't love him anymore.

Eliza fell out of love with him. That's the bitter truth, it was very hard to accept, but he did. He began to wonder if there was any love at all in the first place.

The past two years were busy in all senses and he remembered going on a similar vacation with Eliza before this. It was a good memory. And he wanted it to be just a memory. He no longer gave memories the power to overpower him. Thinking about Eliza didn't bother him all that much.

She was a part of his life. His past. It was good, whatever they had. At least he thought it was. But not good enough to survive a lifetime.

He had accepted this fact and successfully moved on from everything, it was hard to let go. But he did. He deleted her number the first thing one night and deleted all the photos they had clicked together. His heart ached. It did. But he breathed a sigh of relief after he finished deleting everything, even those Instagram photos that he kept in the archive was sent to the trash.