Suicide Watch

Chapter 5

Temi POV

I am lying on my bed, staring blankly ahead of me, when there is a knock on my door. I know it is Isa, so I just ignore it. The knock comes again a few moments later. This time, Isa does not wait for an answer before pushing the door open.

I quickly shut my eyes, pretending to be asleep.

There's no sound for a while. I can feel Isa watching me, her dark eyes studying my face. Then she lets out a sigh, which is followed by the sound of footsteps and my room door opening and closing once again.

Thinking that I am in the clear, I open my eyes. To my horror, Isa is still standing in my room, watching me.

"I had a feeling you were just pretending," Isa says, a smug look on her face.

I am filled with an embarrassment which wastes no time at all in morphing into annoyance and anger.

"What do you want?" I say, my voice filled with venom. A brief feeling of guilt passes through me. After all, I have been nothing but a dickhead to Isa since she has been here. She has also been feeding me these past few days, but I felt that comes more from a place of responsibility rather than care.

"Good morning to you, too. It's always a pleasure having these interactions with you."

"Fuck off." I mumble.

"No," Isa deadpans in reply, "I'm sick of you staying cooped up in this room all the time. We're going outside to get some fresh air."

I look up at her, which is rather difficult seeing as I am lying horizontally on my bed while Isa stands vertically above me. Her hair is not tied up from her face like it had been the very first day I met her. Instead, it falls down past her shoulders, reaching her waist. I can't help but think of how soft her dark hair appears.

"Go away," I try, "I'm not going anywhere with you."

Isa crosses her arms over her chest, an annoyed expression is on her face. I think about the fact that I know nothing about the woman in front of me. Yet, my mom found it suitable to leave me alone with this complete stranger.

From her stance, it is crystal clear to me that rude remarks will not get me out of this situation.

I try one last feeble attempt.

"Isa," I realize it is my first time addressing her by her name. It's weird. Her name feels foreign to my tongue. "Isa..." I try it once again, "please leave me alone, I'm begging you. I just want to be alone in my room."

Isa's expression softens then, and I'm almost convinced that I have appealed my way out of the situation.

"I'm sorry, Temi, but I feel you have been alone on your own for enough time. Staying in solitude will not make you feel any better."

My anger quickly returns. "Oh, and you believe some 'fresh air' will?" I raised my fingers up in quotation marks, making it very apparent to Isa that I'm mocking her.

She doesn't seem to appreciate this and from the deep crease that appears on her forehead.

"Look Temi, I know you're going through a hard time-"

"Do you?" I ask, sitting up in my bed to look directly into Isa's eyes, "you're not the one that lost your best friend." My voice shakes a little and I blink furiously to prevent the tears from escaping my eyes. The last thing I want is to cry in front of Isa. I literally cannot think of anything that will be more embarrassing right then.

"You're right," Isa says, her voice low and cold, "but I know about grief, and I know how painful and endless it can feel."

She's staring at me hard and I hold her stare for a moment before I finally break contact, squirming under the pressure of her steady gaze. I turn my head instead and stare at my pillow like it's the most interesting thing to me right then. I don't know what to say- I don't know what to feel. My head is blank.

"I'm going to leave now," Isa says, her voice still holding the same low tone, "I will return in five minutes and you should be dressed and out of bed and then we'd go outside together for some fresh air." She pauses. "Either that, or I will sling you over my shoulder and carry you outside by force."

She leaves and I'm left staring at my room door in shock. My head is spinning and I wonder if I just hallucinated the last few words Isa had said to me. After a few moments of contemplating if she was being serious, I realize I don't want to find out. With much difficulty, I rise from my bed.

When I walk out of my room, I see Isa has changed as well. She is wearing a tank top and shorts which expose her toned arms and legs. No doubt that she works out. Her hair once again is packed away from her face. This time in a low ponytail.

"Are you ready?" Isa asks.

I nod my head stubbornly as I glare at her, making it clear that this is the last thing I want to be doing.

Isa ignores the look I send her and begins making her way over to the front door. I follow behind her, not before catching sight of tattoos circling her left thigh. It only appears for a moment before her shorts fall back down, covering it up.

It looks badass. Nothing compared to the cliche butterfly tattoo I have between my breasts. I had gotten it illegally on a drunken night back when I had just turned 17. Grace had gotten a matching one on her lower back. A pang goes through me and I swallow hard.

"I think we'd take a walk in the park nearby," Isa says as we step outside the apartment.

I grunt in reply as I trail a little behind her in silence.

It's a warm summer day and quite a few people are outside. It doesn't escape my mind that given different circumstances, I would probably have been amongst the people outside, listening to music and just having fun. It is summer, after all. The school semester is starting back up soon and everyone is salvaging the last few moments before deadlines and sleepless nights resumed again.

For me, the sleepless nights are already in full swing.

"This is a beautiful park," Isa says, "you're lucky to have one so close to your apartment."

I pretend I do not hear her and continue to walk, staring straight ahead. But she's right. The park is beautiful. It's large and green and filled with an assortment of flowers. This is as good as it gets. But yet, I'm unable to fully appreciate it. Everything appears grey and bland to me. No matter how beautiful it really is.

My breathing is already coming out shallow, seeing as this is the most strenuous activity I have done in a while.

"How do you feel about the new semester starting soon?" Isa asks from beside me. I ignore her again and keep on walking. The last thing I want to do is talk about anything relating to my 'feelings' with Isa.

Isa does not seem discouraged by my lack of responses as she speaks up again a few moments later.

"Okay. Let's do a few stretches here then we can head back."

This I do not ignore, as I do not want to spend any longer than I have to with Isa. She shows some stretches for me to mirror, and I notice just how toned she is. It's clear that she is fit and in great condition.

I comply with the stretching instructions Isa gives me. Not because I want to, but because I figure that the sooner we finish, the better. However, I keep a steady glare on Isa throughout. I need to make it clear somehow that I still dislike her and want absolutely nothing to do with her.

Isa meets my eyes with indifference. She continues instructing me casually, unaffected by the bullet-glares I am giving her. The lack of a reaction makes me even angrier.

"Are we done yet?" I snap.

Isa stops instructing me and just stares at me for a moment, studying me. I scowl.

Isa licks her lips, placing her hands on her waist before answering.

"Yes, I believe we've done enough for today."

I barely wait for Isa to finish her sentence before I turn on my heels and start heading back toward my apartment. I can feel Isa close on my heels, her eyes studying me from behind.