Suicide Watch

Chapter 10

Temi POV

As quickly as Isa gets on top of me, she's off again. Although I can now breathe properly, I miss her warmth and I am lying on the cold floor.

Clearly, my alcohol tolerance seems to have gone down, as I barely had much to drink. Yet, I can't seem to stop thinking of Isa in this strange manner.

As I watch, Isa retrieves the gun that she kicked away and quickly unloads it before tucking it away into her back pocket. After which, she makes her way over to the box of weapons that is spread open on the couch and shuts it closed-not before entering a code.

Isa's eyes finally come back to settle on me and I can almost feel the anger radiating off from her from them from my position on the floor.

"Stand up," Isa orders.

For a moment, I want to protest. But I realize how fucking stupid I look just lying there on the floor. There's also the fact that I am not willing to argue with Isa, especially not right then when I am already in deep shit.

With a bit of effort, I push myself up from the floor till I'm standing erect a few feet away from Isa.

"Isa," I begin, "I can explain-"

"Where the fuck were you?" Isa says, cutting me off rather rudely. For a moment, I want to say something about manners but quickly decide against it.

"I um, I went for a walk." I say lamely. I don't want to tell her about the bridge. It seems a bit too personal to share. I sure as hell will not tell her I had also gone to a bar.

"You're lying," Isa immediately deadpans.

"Okay," I shrug in reply.

Isa does not like this response as she takes a step closer to me and I instinctively take a few steps backwards.

"You skipped your class and ran off to God knows where," Isa says, glaring at me. I think of how funny it is that the tables have turned, with Isa being the one glaring at me. I'll admit, it does not feel as good being on the receiving end. Especially not from somebody like Isa.

I don't know what to say, so I just take another step backwards. Isa sees this and frowns before taking a step forward to counteract my movement.

"I'm talking to you. Stay right where you are," Isa says angrily. This is a side of her I definitely had not seen before. She always acts so indifferent, even aloof, at times. She always seems so in control, but it's clear that me sneaking out of class has changed that.

Isa takes another step towards me and even though she just told me not to move, I take another step backwards. I just can't help myself. I am extremely intimidated by Isa at this moment, borderline scared of her. Her anger is both captivating and terrifying.

"Temi..." Isa says. Her voice is low and I feel my stomach flip. I know I am screwed the moment my back hits the wall. I have no way to go and Isa continues walking towards me, keeping me cornered.

She is standing directly in front of me, towering over my small frame so I am now at eye level with her lips. I continue to stare at them, scared of what I will see if I looked up into her eyes.

"I think I've been giving you a bit too much freedom," Isa says, her voice still maintaining the low tone of it. "This is not an ideal situation for either of us. I understand that you're mourning the loss of your best friend, so I've been trying very hard to at least give you some space. But you've completely abused that, even putting my job on the line."

I swallow hard. My heart is throbbing in my chest and Isa only has to lean forward slightly in order to feel it herself.

I can smell her. She doesn't smell vanilla or flowery or soft. She has a woody scent to her. I do not know if it's me or the alcohol, but it is intoxicating. Isa's voice runs through my head and I dig my nails into my palms to keep myself grounded.

"I understand you don't want me here. I need you to understand that I don't want to be here either." Hearing these words hurt and I am now blinking back the tears that are threatening to fall. I know Isa is angry, and I know it is my fault. Yet, her brutal honesty is something I don't want to hear.

"Fuck you," I mumble, my voice is barely above a whisper, but I know Isa picks up on my words as her body stiffens before mine.

I keep my eyes glued to her lips as a silence stretches between us.

"Here's what's gonna happen, sweetheart..." if Isa's anger wasn't clear enough to me already, it is crystal clear now, "I'm not able to enter your classes with you so I'm going to be standing there, right outside throughout. Try running off then. Also, I'm going to sleep in your room with you. I will sleep on the floor, but I don't care. You seem to have a desire to hurt yourself."

I know she is referencing seeing me with her gun earlier on. I want to protest, but know she will not budge.

"Why do you even have a fucking gun with you in the first place, huh? If you're so worried about me hurting myself?"

I am looking up at Isa now, and just as I expected, the anger is apparent. But I don't back away from it. Maybe I've finally sobered up, but I feel my anger coming back to me, and I embrace it wholeheartedly.

"Why do you even have your damn weapons lying about?"

"I don't usually have my weapons lying around. I opened it when you went missing. I thought something had happened to you, that you were in danger. I am usually a bodyguard, remember? Not the glorified babysitter that this job has turned me into."

That is it. My anger surges so high inside of me, and without thinking, I spit on Isa. A big glob of my spit lands directly between her eyes.

Isa flinches slightly, then squeezes her eyes shut. Her hands are in fists and she doesn't move. Me, on the other hand, I am panicking. My eyes are wide and my heart is beating fast as I wait to see what Isa's reaction is going to be.

To my utmost surprise and horror, Isa starts laughing. Her eyes are still shut tight, but she is now laughing. I don't know what to think of it and I just stand there staring up at her foolishly.

"You know something," Isa finally says, opening her eyes slowly, "you're a fucking pain in the ass." Her brown eyes are hard on mine as she speaks and as much as I want to, I can't look away.

I want to retort something snappy back at her, but my mouth is dry and no words form.

"It's getting late," Isa says. She's not laughing anymore and her voice has a sharp edge to it. "Go get ready for bed. I will be there in a few minutes."

My stomach seems to do somersaults, but somehow my legs quickly carry me to my room.

As if on autopilot, I change into my pyjamas and get into bed. I'm not sure what has just happened. My heart is still beating fast, even as I lay underneath my covers, trying to make sense of it.

A part of me hopes Isa wasn't being serious when she said she was going to be spending the nights in my room. I don't think I can handle that.

But sure enough, a couple minutes later my room door opens and in comes Isa. I can make out her outline in the darkroom and I watch silently as she walks round to the other end of the bed before laying a bunch of blankets on the floor and lying on them.

The room is silent and neither of us says anything to the other. But the tension is heavy in the room and I feel I will suffocate due to how thick it is.

It feels like the night will never end. But finally, my eyelids feel too heavy for me to support and I fall asleep.