Suicide Watch

Chapter 7

Isa POV

It's clear that Temi is not at all onboard with my plans for us to have dinners together. To be honest, I'm not quite sure if I'm onboard with it either and I wonder why I had even said such a thing.

I know I'm not winning any points forcing her to do things she would rather not. But the truth is, anything that prevents her from being cooped up in her room 24/7 is probably in her best interest.

The displeasure is clear all over Temi's face as she glares at me from across the dining table. I can tell she means to look intimidating, but her gigantic eyes cause her glare to look slightly more like a pout and I take a sip of water to cover the slight smile that appears on my face.

"You know, you can start eating..." I say, "we don't have to say grace or anything." I pause. "I mean, unless you want to?"

Temi hesitates for a moment. She looks at me and I can tell there's a lot going on in her head right then; I wonder what it is. She's glaring at me extra hard. I pretend to ignore her and pick up my fork in front of me.

I made Ramen for dinner. Not the typical college-student ramen-dinner, but with eggs and vegetables and some additional spices of my own. I have no idea if it is healthier this way, but it appears to be. From the case file I have on Temi, I know she doesn't have any dietary restrictions. Yet, I don't know her food preferences, so I decide to play it safe.

I place a forkful of ramen in my mouth. As I go down for another, I notice Temi eating her food from the corner of my eye.

I avert my eyes and keep my smug expression to myself. Temi is eating hungrily. Her slurps do not go unheard and I cannot stop myself from looking up and staring at her in amusement.

Temi catches sight of me staring and immediately scowls. I clear my throat and avert my eyes back to my food once again.

There's a silence between us as we eat, which is broken occasionally by Temi's slurping sounds.

"So," I say after a few more moments of silence, "how do you feel about the new school semester?"

Temi ignores me and continues eating.

"I never went to college," I blurt out, "I joined the army as soon as I turned eighteen. But I don't mind, really. College wasn't really something I wanted to do." I don't know why I am saying all this. The silence between us just seems to get deeper and deeper, and I am desperately searching for things to say to fill it. Anything at all that can help me build rapport.

I twirl my ramen on my fork and sneak a glance at Temi. She's concentrating on eating her ramen like it's the only thing that matters to her. She's not even looking at me, doesn't even acknowledge that I had spoken at all.

I let a few more moments of silence pass between us. Temi scrapes the last few remainders of food into her mouth.

"It's impressive what you're doing here...at college, I mean. Majoring in English... I think that's really cool."

I expect Temi to just ignore me like she had been doing throughout, but her head immediately snaps up and she doesn't look happy at all.

"How do you know I'm majoring in English?"

I blink blankly at her, wondering if she is being serious. It didn't take me a lot to figure out that she was.

"I'm your bodyguard... I know these things about you... I'm expected to know these things about you..."

"You're not my bodyguard," Temi responds harshly, "what are you even doing here? You realize how stupid you sound saying that you're my bodyguard, right?"

I pause then, regarding the girl in front of me who has now gotten to her feet.

"Perhaps, what about it?"

"I don't want you knowing things about me," Temi says angrily, "you're a stranger and I don't want you thinking that you know me... this whole thing is stupid. You're stupid."

Once again, a silence falls between us before I drag myself up to my feet. Temi and I are now standing face to face with the table separating us. 

"Look," I begin, "I understand you might not like this whole arrangement and you might find this whole thing stupid. I get it, really. But this is my job and I will rather you do not disrespect me while I'm doing my job by calling me stupid."

Temi says nothing in reply, but just stares at me with wide eyes.

There's more silence between us as we just stare at one another, waiting for someone to say something.

"I'm going to go do some homework," Temi murmurs, before walking away. I don't stop her, even though I know she's probably just going back to laying in bed.

I let out an inaudible sigh, and a feeling passes over me. The last thing I want to do is have Temi retreat even further away from me than she already has. As much as I hate to admit it, her hostile, cold company is sometimes better to me than no company at all.

I clear up the table where we had just eaten. I wash the dishes in the sink before I retreat towards my makeshift bed on the couch. It's nighttime, and the moon is high in the sky, but I'm not quite tired yet.

I reach into my backpack, taking out my sketchpad as I position myself in front of the window.

The chill summer breeze comes in through the window and I take it in as I sketch the moon. It's a full moon and particularly bright tonight. For the first time in a while, I feel at peace.

So much has changed in my life over the past few days. Finally, ending my relationship with Alice, and starting what I might classify as the oddest job of my career hence far.

But right now, all of that seems secondary.

I know every bodyguard job I have taken up till this point has only just brought me closer to my goal of finally being able to retire and do what I really love. Art. I plan on doing art once I retire. I don't exactly have concrete plans of how I will go about this, but I know that once I've saved up enough to retire, I'd be in a position that means I wouldn't have to worry about the technicalities of all of that for a while.

Thoughts of this play on my mind for the rest of the evening and I fall asleep next to the open window, the moonlight shining down on me.