Suicide Watch

Chapter 28

Temi POV

empty.

that's how I feel since your abrupt departure.

the days are long,

the sun shines too brightly,

it seems to mock me.

why should the sun ever shine,

what reason does it have to shine

when you're not here with me?

I read over my poem. It has the same morbid tone to it that every single poem I have written lately seems to harbor. I read over it once again, before simply saving it to my drafts. There's no way in hell I am posting it for my followers to see.

My poetry page used to be a place of light and hope. My subscribers used to say that all the time. These days, it's nothing. But I would rather it be nothing than a place of sadness.

I open up an assignment on my laptop and begin working on it. It's already past the due date and I feel like I have a million things that I need to do. I'm behind on schoolwork and assignments. Luckily, most of my professors offer me extensions without me even having to ask, because of my "extenuating circumstances".

I stare blankly at the Google Doc open before me. I have only written a sentence and my mind has run off already.

For the next few hours, I work on my paper. I am absolutely sure that nothing I am writing is making sense, and I know that whatever grade I get, my professor would only give it to me out of pity. But I really don't care right then. My priority at the moment is getting the paper over and done with.

I finally finish and submit my paper before rising from my desk in my room.

I need a break, and the apartment has suddenly gotten really cold for some reason.

I step out of my room where I have been holed up all day expecting to see Isa lounging on the couch, but she isn't there. She's probably in the bathroom. The TV is on and a random reality show is playing.

I watch it for a few moments before heading to the kitchen and fixing myself a snack. I grab a bowl of pineapples that Isa cut up earlier and retreat into the living room.

As much as I don't want to admit it. I want her company. Isa's company has become a comfort to me and I find myself leaving my room more, just to talk to her, just to hang out with her and be in her presence.

I notice a notebook I haven't seen before and pick it up. I quickly come to realize it is actually a sketchbook and I am now staring at a drawing of myself.

I recognize it instantly. It's from when I was at the hair salon. My eyes are closed. I was asleep when it was drawn. I trace my fingers lightly over it. The detail in this sketch alone is so specific, so real. I am left speechless as I look at it.

"Fuck, Temi," Isa whispers from behind me. "I didn't expect for you to see that."

I turn and look at her. She is looking at me warily. There's a slightly nervous expression on her face.

"You drew this?" I ask, even though I know the answer already. Who else would have drawn it?

"Yes," Isa says slowly, the same nervous expression still on her face, "and I'm sorry. I know it's creepy and an entire violation of your privacy."

I shake my head quickly. An 'invasion of my privacy' is the last thing I am thinking as I look at the drawing of myself.

"This is so good. You're really fucking talented, Isa."