LOVE BACK; jra ✓

004 | only thing on my mind

While Willow was out at college, Adalyn had woken up earlier than usual since she had plans to go visit Lucas — he's been the only other friend she has seen over the past two month.

Although on her drive over she had gone past her friends houses hoping someone would be home to talk with them quickly. Since it's been two months, she thought it was finally time she'd let them back into her life after so suddenly cutting them out with no explanation.

But there was only one car in either driveway and she didn't recognise it. She pulled over out the front for a few seconds, letting out a sigh before she kept driving to Lucas'.

Letting the girl in his house, he pulled her into a hug and she rested her head on his chest. "How are you going?" Lucas kept his voice low as she lifted her head up and looked at him.

"alright.."

"You don't look "alright".. Come up to my room and we can talk," he said as he unwrapped his arms from around her.

She followed him upstairs and down the hall to his bedroom and then both taking a seat on his bed, close to but facing one another.

"Really Adalyn, what's wrong?"

"Honestly, I miss Jack. And being at home doing nothing most the time makes him be the only thing on my mind," she rambled, looking away from him. "And I know he doesn't want to talk to me so it makes it hard."

"Do you want to come back to work? That will take your mind off of him," he suggested.

"Not really because I- I don't know I just feel like any of them will walk in at any given moment," she replied. "I want to see him but I don't want it to be at work. I want to be able to talk to him and explain everything with like Harvey and Carter."

"Everything everything?"

"Well I want to but it's hard because I don't want him to feel like pressured to get back with me. If I'm having anything, I don't want it to be forced. And I just feel like telling him.."

Lucas grabbed her hand moving it away from her lips, to stop her picking at them. "No, I get it. I can see how telling him all that can put pressure on him."

"And I can't even bring myself to tell my friends and family so I just lie to them. Like you and Harvey are the only people who know," she groaned. "I don't want to lie to Jack. I've lied to him enough. And If I want something with him he deserves to know."

"He does deserve to know, but you don't necessarily have to tell him right away, you can wait you know.."

"How else am I supposed to explain why Harvey cheated?" she looked at him. "Jack doesn't even want to talk to me. I don't even know why I'm bothering to worry about how I'm going to tell him."

Adalyn laid her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her. "I honestly don't even care right now if he wants to get back with me or not. I just want to be able to talk to him or at least hear back from him," she added as her eyes started to water up.

He sat there, slowly rubbing her back with his thumb. "Do you still talk to Val?" he whispered as she shrugged. "I was gonna say- don't worry. um- What if you messaged Jack?"

"He made it clear he doesn't want to talk to me," she mumbled with a little sniffle. "I just cause so much drama, he'll never want to get back with me."

"What do you mean?"

She lifted her head up and furrowed. "Did I not tell you how my Instagram got hacked and they leaked my DM's with his friend and there's photos of us kissing in there?"

"nope," he shook his head.

"And they're coming out with a song and the first thing I see about it is people saying it's about me so I just deleted the app. Because they don't care about how much hate I'm getting, although I pretty much asked for it but still.."

"And Val gets none of this it's unfair," she continued to complain. "But then again none of them know they're dating. I just fucked up by posting with him."

"So do you or do you not want to get back with him?" he slightly tilted his head. "Because you sound like you can't make up your mind."

"I like him as a person. I don't like want he does for his job," she explained. "I mean I don't care. I just don't like how everyone has an opinion on me, when all that they know about me is what I post on the internet."

"Adalyn you need to get out," he chuckled. "Like have you done anything other than think about him since you broke up?"

"I haven't drunk since his birthday. I haven't been to parties. I haven't been to a club. I haven't seen anyone other than you, Willow and random strangers. I haven't had sex.." she rambled, letting out a small laugh.

"I know you want to be with him but I don't think closing yourself off from everyone and everything you enjoy doing is the best idea," he explained. "Cause this sad and quiet Adalyn is not you. And wouldn't be the girl Jack fell in love with.."

Adalyn laid her head back down on Lucas. "You know, you can still do things you like without getting with guys.." he added, softly rubbing her back.

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A/N

will i keep up with this consistent daily updating hmm probably not lol