Grace Alive (A Christian Romance)

Part 30

Chapter 30

Sunday morning rolled around, and I could feel my tension growing. I took a shower, blow-dried my hair, curled it, put my makeup on, and picked out an outfit. I ended up changing my clothes twice, because for some reason showing up at Light on the Hill was making me feel like I wanted to vomit. People were going to see Branson and me together with his kids. Was I ready for their evil looks that I was bound to receive from them?

I thought about the story Alison and I had talked about last night. They would chuck stones at me in a heartbeat. I brewed some coffee and tried to calm my nerves. After reading my Bible and praying for awhile, Branson picked me up with the kids, and we rode to church. The twins babbled in the back and tickled Bree; their laughter lightened my mood but didn’t ward off the feeling of coming doom.

We got to Light on the Hill and went inside, and I showed Branson where the nursery and the children’s rooms were, and he dropped his kids off. I got some really heated looks from holding his hand as we walked back toward the sanctuary. Mia came in with her load of children and Tomas, and heated anger rippled through me as I looked at her.

“You okay, Zoe?” Branson asked as we went down the forth pew.

“I’m okay.” We sat down. Pastor Mike got up and began the praise and worship. I hadn’t really wanted to be an hour early to church today. The music sounded good, but unlike Grace Alive there was no passion behind anything. I never noticed that before until I had gone to the barn church; everything here now felt hollow. After worship ended, Jacob’s dad, Kyle Whitmen, came up on the stage. Crap. This was it. He was going to do it.

“Good morning!” he said cheerily and clapped his hands once. He shot a look at my dad, and his eyes narrowed. “I know you all must be wondering why I am up here making announcements today.” Silence filled the sanctuary, and a couple people coughed.

“I just wanted to publicly announce my membership removal from Light on the Hill.” Gasps echoed around the building; the Whitmens had been part of our church for years. My palms began to sweat, and I grabbed Branson’s hand.

“Pastor Daniel is an unclean preacher of the gospel. I caught him committing adultery with Mia Fellan. I didn’t want to say anything about it at first, because we have such a wonderful church here at Light on the Hill, but I can’t sit by idly knowing that the man of God we trust is freely committing sin.” Kyle crossed his arms over his chest. “I am starting my own church on Edward Lane; if you’d truly like a preacher of righteousness, join me there.” He walked off the stage, and you could feel the tension in the room.

Suddenly people started standing up and shouting things at my dad, and several people up and walked out. It was chaos. I gripped Branson’s hand and prayed to myself, watching my dad’s devastation hit him. My mom came up to him, slapped him, screamed at him, and started crying hysterically. It was over. Everything was over. I looked around at the church that was my home. I found Mia in the crowd and saw tears running down her face, Tomas staring at her in horror. The church started emptying, and pretty soon no one was left in the sanctuary—they’d all left. My mom ran out of the room, tears pouring down her cheeks. My dad fell to his knees, curled up in a ball, and sobbed. Branson still held my hand as all this happened, and I saw Tomas slip out of the aisle and walk away, Mia cupping her face in her hands.

“Go to your dad, Zoe,” Branson urged. “I’m going to get the kids, okay?” He looked in the direction of the nursery.

“Okay,” I said and couldn’t contain the tears that were pouring down my face. My dad was still sobbing, Mia was sobbing, and my heart began to break for my dad, for Mia. Yes, they’d screwed up; yes, they’d sinned against all these people and God, but God still loved them. He still loved them! The revelation of grace began to flood my mind. All the laws that my dad had heaped on me as a little girl began to fade as the grace of God filtered into my thoughts. I was not here to judge them as I bent down to my dad and wrapped my arms around him and held him. It made him sob harder, a broken, broken sob that broke my heart.

“I can’t ever be enough for Him, Zoe. I can’t fix myself. I judged you so harshly, and God’s judgment is going to fall on me. He doesn’t want me anymore. I…screwed everything up,” he said through his tears.

“Dad…God still loves you. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done. You made a mess, but God’s not going to kick you when you’re down. He loves you!” I stroked his hair like I would a child.

He pressed my face against his wet cheek.

“I read the book you gave me, Zoe, I read it,” he said and looked at my eyes. “It wrecked me. It completely wrecked me. I’ve been…so wrong! I did everything so wrong! Look at this! Look at the mess I created! I hurt God’s people. I hurt your mom. I don’t deserve the grace of God, Zoe.” His shoulders shook.

“Dad, none of us do!” I held him tight against me as he cried. Branson came back into the sanctuary toting his kids with him. The twins ran to me and wrapped their arms around my dad too. He laughed as they started kissing his face. What was this? I giggled as they climbed all over him, and I stood up and came to Branson.

“I told them to do a kissy fest with Pastor Daniel. We do them all the time at home.” He bounced Bree up and down and rubbed her tummy with his head.

“Right, Bree Bree! Kissy fest time!” He started kissing her neck, and she giggled and squirmed. My dad started laughing as they kept kissing him.

“Wow! You girls sure know how to sweep a man off his feet!” My dad held them in his arms, and they snuggled right up against his chest. He looked up at me, and I saw something change in his expression. All my fear, my pain of his rejection just left my heart. Love. Pure, pure love began to shine through his eyes, and I saw a look of acceptance toward me.

“Zoe?” he said. “I love you, Zoe.”

Tears started pouring down my face. That’s all I ever wanted from my dad. Just love and acceptance for who I was, not what I did.

“I love you too,” I said and joined the kissy fest that was going on. I heard Mia get up off the pew, her shoulders hunched, and her face splotchy and red from crying. I ran over to her, and she looked at me in fear.

“Zoe, I…I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen.” She covered her face in shame, and I put my arms around my best friend.

“I forgive you, Mia. I forgive you. God forgives you. He loves you so much, and I love you so much.” I held her for a long time. How could I be angry at her? How?

“Tomas…he hates me now. He hates me, Zoe. I can’t face him. How am I going to go home and face him?” Her pale face looked deathly afraid.

“You can do it, Mia,” I encouraged her. I squeezed her hand and walked back over to Branson. He was in a conversation with my dad, and I didn’t hear what they said, but at the end my dad pulled Branson into a big hug. His little girls clung to my dad’s legs, and Bree grabbed the collar of my dad’s suit and started sucking on it.

“You guys ready to go home?” I asked the kids. The twins jumped off my dad’s legs and came into my arms, and I hugged them tight and kissed their cheeks.

“Let’s go!” CC said and tugged at my hand. Branson and my dad followed us down the main aisle of the room and out into the foyer.

“I have to go find your mother.” My dad looked at me with deep sorrow. “I love you, Zoe.” He kissed my forehead and walked down the hallway. I grabbed Branson’s hand as we headed toward his car.