Grace Alive (A Christian Romance)

Part 31

Chapter 31

I set a cup of coffee down in front of my dad, trying not to stare as he leaned over, fighting his emotions.

“Here you go, Dad,” I said with a sad smile, sitting across from him. I’d asked him to come to Alison’s house, so we could talk about everything that had happened and how he was doing with it all.

“Thanks, Zoe.” He wrapped his fingers around the mug but didn’t make a move to drink it. I could tell he was lost in thought until he finally said, “We’ve talked a lot in the last week, Zoe, and I think your mom is going to stay with me.” His voice was heavy with emotion. “Sometimes you think you want a specific thing—but Sunday when the thought of actually losing your mom hit me, I found every part of me was screaming for the opposite.” He drew in a ragged breath, running his fingers through his hair. “They’re resigning me, Zoe, I had a meeting with the board. This isn’t something easily forgiven.” Again, he looked near tears; the sight for me nearly brought me to tears as well. My dad didn’t cry—ever.

I figured that would happen—they’d turn Light on the Hill over to another pastor, the board would see to that.

“I’m sorry, Dad,” I said in a hushed voice. I put a hand on his shoulder, and he shuddered beneath my touch.

“I messed everything up—you—your mom—my ministry—God, I’m so stupid.”

This was another thing hard for me to grasp—my dad condemning himself. I’d always seen him as perfect, not a real man with real feelings that could be shaken.

“Some of our people have been calling me,” he said, and gulped a lump down in his throat, brushing tears from his eyes. “They want me to explain myself—some of them even said they’d follow me to a new church.” He was silent for a few heartbeats, looking at the floor, his hands interlocking together. “I’ll never be looked at the same in ministry in this city—never. News spreads fast.”

He was right about that. I’m sure quite a few people knew that the no nonsense preacher had committed adultery.

“Have you talked to your mom?” he asked me.

“No, I tried calling her, but she didn’t answer.”

He let out a long sigh, leaning up against the couch.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, but I promise you this—I want to change. I have to change.” A sob stuck in his throat and he turned his face from me.

God, what are you doing to me? Seeing my dad like this is absolutely breaking my heart in pieces.

My dad quietly cried for a minute, before he cleared his throat, trying to get control of himself.

“I want to go to Grace Alive.”

That took me completely by surprise, and my mouth fell open just slightly.

“What?”

“If they’ll let me come, I want to go, your mom does too. We want to talk to the pastor.”

“Okay, yeah, he’d love that.” I was kind of unsure how to take this news—my dad’s world had shattered—he was done for as a preacher, but I was amazed at God and how He worked. Part of me wondered if this was what it had to take to get my dad free of law and condemnation—complete and utter brokenness.

“Pray for your mom and me, okay?” he said, his voice breaking.

“I have been, I’ll keep praying.”

He grabbed my hands, leaning forward, his eyes swimming with tears again. “Zoe, can you forgive me about Jacob? I’m so sorry. I was wrong to force you to marry him and call it the voice of God. I’m so thankful you disobeyed me now—it was petty and selfish to sell you for money. Please, Zoe, can you forgive me?”