[CHAELISA ONESHOT]
[This oneshot is purely Lisa's POV]
"As long as I am here, I'll always love you."
Tears fell as I tried to hold everything within myself. Just tonight, I hope tonight I'll be able to give my tired eyes some rest.
"I'm so tired..."
Saying these three words over and over again to myself just to make sure I am not making a wrong decision for purposely ignoring her. Chae.
A faint knock can be heard as someone right outside the door just asked if ever I wanted someone else to come in.
"No, go away." I said as I bit my lower lip, trying to hold it in.
"Lisa, that's enough. I'm coming in."
It was Jennie.
"I hate to break it into you but you really deserve someone better." She said as she opened the curtains wide enough for the light to peek through my windows.
"I don't know what to do, Jen. I'm tired, I'm drained, I want to disappear." I curled up in fetal position trying to hide my tears away from Jennie.
"That's what you told me the other week, and the other month, or last year."
Tears fell on its own, I've never held my tears this long. All I know was I'm too ashamed to face my friend because just like what she said, this had happened before.
Her warm and soft hands clasped into mine.
"I'm in no place to ask you this but do you think you deserve this?" She asked trying get my attention. I shook my head with my eyes shut. I can't look at her. She sighed.
"Do you love her?" She asked.
"Yes." I answered, breaking the thin atmosphere around us.
"What are the things that you're willing to do for her?" I sat up from my bed and hugged my pillow to my chest.
"Answer me, Manoban." Yikes, she said my last name. She's feeling nothing but seriousness around.
"I'm willing to do everything for her." I answered, lowering my head.
"By that everything, you mean?" She said as she took the chair near my study table and sat accross me.
"Like if she wanted me to be there for her, I'll be there. If she wanted me to listen to her boring talks, I'll be there. If she feels like no one is listening to her, if no one loves her, I'll be that no one. If she's not okay, I'll make her feel okay. If she's uncomfortable, I'll make her feel one. If-"
"Can she do that to you?" She cut me off with that question that woke me up from reality.
"No... I don't know- she can't change herself for me-"
"But you managed to change yourself just for her to like you?"
"That's her, we're different!"
*SLAPS
She. SLAPPED. ME. Jennie just slapped me.
"If she can't do the same to you then she doesn't love you! Wake up, Lisa! You're after someone who can't even manage to change herself just for you! Can't you see that you're giving away all your dignity for someone who's okay even when you don't feel okay!?" She yelled.
She's right... How can I be this selfless? Pity. I guess that's what's left. She feels pity.
"Do you think she just feels nothing but pity- for me? J-Jen?" I asked slowly as I unknowingly cried in front of her while fully facing her.
"Pity? No. She's only scared to lose you but she's not doing anything to make you stay." And she turned her back on me.
"Y'know, Lis? I never allowed myself to witness how low you could get for someone like Chaeyoung." she exhaled, her tone broke. "I never liked seeing you like this."
"I'm sorry-"
"You're saying sorry for what? For her? You suck, Lisa." She shook her head in disbelief. "And why aren't you answering her calls?"
"Because I felt like she only calls me whenever she likes to or whenever she tries to get my attention."
"I don't know what to say to you, Lis." She stood up and made her way to the door.
"Have you ever thought of someone else treating you right? Someone who will not wait for you to tell her what she should do? Someone who couldn't take it when you cry? When you're not okay? Someone who's going to do everything for you like what you're doing right now with Chaeyoung?" she turned her back.
Before she closed the door, she looked down.
"Someone like me?" she uttered lowly and left.
I'm lost. Tell me what I should do. I need help.
