... Unspoken Words....

Chapter 1- Into the dark silence!

Just another glass...the last one...i need this ....no...no i need to sleep ....i wanna sleep , i wanna sleep so bad !!
I need a shower...i need Jay , where's Jay ? I need to tell him ....no i can't tell him !! He's too good ....i just need a shower and sleep!!
Hailey's head is exploding , she's on the edge , she's broken, she needs Jay!!
She wants to tell him the truth so badly , but she can't ...She can't drag him down with her ....he's so good , too good ...She doesn't deserve him!!
She steps into the shower holding her whisky, the one her and Jay bought for the hard moments, for their thing !!
But now ....now she's alone doing what she's been doing for a lifetime....burying the pain!
The water falls on her , hot , too hot... she's punishing herself ....the blood flows away , but the pain it's still there , haunting her !!
She saved my life!! He reached for my gun!! She had no choice but shooting!! There was no choice but covering it up!!
Jay is standing still, paralized.... Hailey , his Hailey , the woman who saved him from hell is ripping herself apart!! She's gone down to hell herself, she killed a man , She carried this alone for weeks !!
She can't sleep , she's not eating ....she's blaming herself!!!
Because she killed him.... she killed him!!
Right now, all this is just pain, anger , unspoken words , feeling responsable because that's Hailey, his Hailey and he had to protect her , but he didn't !!
The guilt is kicking hard now , it's making space in Jay's heart, that heart that is beating so fast now.... it's about to explode!!
You put her there ...don't you get that ?
YOU DRAGGED HER DOWN WITH YOU!!
The house is dark and silent when she's out of the bathroom and She keeps drinking , because maybe that's the only way to turn off her mind....getting drunk , getting numb , to turn off that switch, to be like Voight....
You're right Sarge ...i am not you !!
But remeber that whatever line you're gonna cross, you're dragging me to the other side with you!!
Another glass, and maybe this is starting to work ....days of no sleeping , no eating , but maybe now she's gonna get some sleep !!
With another glass in her hand she goes to bed .. their bed, in their home...that home that is so empty right now...so silent ....so dark !!
She falls into the bed and feels her eyes getting heavy , but she can't breathe ....She can't close her eyes because that's Roy behind all that darkness ...and ...She can't breathe ....until....She can....a long breathe, a heavy breathe, a breathe that tastes like some kind of prophetical freedom of her soul!!
Jay knows the truth and she breathes out ....because she's not alone anymore now carrying this!! Her eyes gets heavier every second until they fall closed and all she sees now ... it's Jay behind all that darkness....her light into the darkness!!
I don't think you know the woman you're sleeping next to...
Jay flips , this is Hailey , his Hailey and hell he knows her .... he's been knowing something was wrong all this time ...but...he didn't push her ....because that's how they work .... that's their thing !!
But now all of this is exploding into his face, because maybe....maybe he didn't know her dark side ....maybe this is true !!
This is Hailey , his Hailey and he wasn't there to protect her , he failed ....his heart starts to break !!
You did everything you did....what 'd you get ?
He needs to leave , he needs to see Hailey , to look her in the eyes , to see the truth behind all this !!
She's Hailey , your Hailey....this can't be true !!
She can't sleep, she's not eating, this is ripping her apart!!
The drive home is full of pain , anger , guilt !! He needs to know the truth ...he needs to know it from Hailey , his Hailey !!
When he steps into the apartment, their home, everything is silent and dark!! He spots the empty bottle on the kitchen island and all he can feel is pain...and his heart still breaks ....
It's all dark and silent ...She's must be sleeping ....finally !!
She's sleeping ....she's so ....broken ...oh baby!!
He's standing on the door of their bedroom, watching her sleeping after days of awake nights , a glass on the side table, her blonde hair all over the pillow, and all the bruises and the pain written all over her face!! But still that's the most beautiful vision he could ever had !!
He keeps standing there watching her painful sleep and in a moment she's awake ....her eyes wide open and she's looking at him !!
He just tilts his head a little....a silent question....
Is that true ? Tell me .....you can tell me everything babe ...
He knows , he knows everything, this is It.....you destroyed him!!
Why you didn't tell me ? Why you carried this alone ? Why you let him drag you down with him? He dragged you down with him!!
I couldn't tell you , you're too decent , you're too good ....but i wanted to, so badly .... couldn't drag you down with me ....i love you!!
I love you...i am not going anywhere!!
She falls on the bed and his hearts finally breaks into million pieces...and that's It....the darkness, the guilt , the shame, the pain, the love , the unspoken words!!

NOTES:
The italics are the "unspoken words", what the caracthers think but don't speak out loud!!
This is gonna be a multi chapter fanfic!!
Leave a comment to let me know what you think !!
Thanks ❤️!!