... Unspoken Words....

Chapter 3- Talking all night !!

She is sleeping but he's not peaceful, at all! Jay is still awake , caressing her hair, slowly trying to calm her down....but deep down he knows she has a long way forward !!
What the hell is gonna happen now? What if the FBI finds any leads? I have to talk with Voight , he has to explain what the next move Is!!
Thinking about Voight , about what they said to each other out there, about what he did! He punched him and as much as he wanted to , he doesn't regret it right now, but he knows he will eventually, because he's Hank, his sergeant!!
But she's Hailey, his Hailey and she needs him now... but....they need to talk....he needs to know from her what happened that night!
Why she didn't call me that night? Baby...i could've helped you!!
He knows it was a good shoot, that's what Hank said, she saved his life....they need to talk!!
Hailey begins to stir and he tries to make her have a little more sleep ... it's 3:40 am and she barely slept a couple hours !! But in a sudden she is awake and scared and confused and scared and she looks at Jay with glassy eyes and the only thing he can do is guiding her to his arms and hold her!
I love you Jay, you're so decent and i am just....i don't wanna be withouth you!!
You're not gonna be !!
Maybe we should get married....i'm serious let's get married!!
She starts reliving that moment, that conversation, the proposal, his shocked eyes.....he knew back then something was off with her , but still made her the happiest of the women proposing back to her . And she said yes, because despite all the darkness Jay was her only light!
But they need to talk right now so she stirs a little more and turns into his arms to face him. His eyes , always gentle , look at her and she tries to speak...
H:Jay ....we need...i need to explain you, to tell you everything....i...
J: Hails we're gonna talk but right now...
H: no please , i need to do this right now, i kept you in the dark too long...
J: Okay....but let's do it this way...i am gonna make some tea and we're gonna talk okay?
H:okay....i....okay!
J: So i go make some tea....i'll be back in a few minutes!
She nods and watches him go to their kitcken to make the tea and thinks that he is the kind of man that you're lucky to meet once in a lifetime , but maybe she's gonna loose him anyway after this....
I'm not going anywhere Hailey, really i'm not ....
But that was a long time ago and now...now it's different!!
He's back with two mugs and he goes to her side of the bed, puts the mugs on the side table and sits next to her , holding her hands, sqeezing them gently...a way to tell her that he's ready to listen .
J: When you're ready....take your time!
H: I was with Adam ....and we were looking for Roy....
Saying his name made her shake a little, so she stopped , closes her eyes and breathe ....
J: take your time ....i am here .
H: Adam needed to go home to Mikayla, that little girl needed him , so ....i drived him home and ....the i called you...
J: okay ....and then what happened ?
H: Then i started connecting the dots, Voight gave us useless addresses and he got the interesting ones....so he found Roy....
J: How did he find him?
H: He found his uncle ....that man Mark Irwin....the one you....
J: The one i killed....
H: Yes....he knew who me and Voight were....
J: Wait...you said ....you found his address....right ?
H: Yeah ...i did....and then i found Voight in that warehouse....with ...Roy
She starts shaking again...so he gently caresses her hands and silenltly tells her to take her time ...
H: When i arrived Roy was arleady pretty beaten up....Voight was questioning him , asking him were Kim was , but ....
J: Breathe ....take your time...
H: He wasn't talking so ....Voight kept asking ...and i....i tried to ....
She's shaking hard now , so Jay holds her and gives her the steaming mug and tells her to drink a little...
J: Just a little okay? Drink a little for me Hails....
She drinks and then looks at him to tell him she's ready to go on...
H: I tried to stop Voight...i told him we could bring him in ...made up a story , but he....he said....
J: What? What did he say?
H: He agreed eventually....
She takes a deep breathe and he knows in that moment that something else happened, but she doesn't push him...
You're right Sarge ,i'm not you...
We're gonna bring him in....
Okay...we're gonna bring him in....
Jay sqeezes her hand , to make her go on...
H: Roy reached for Hank's gun....and i....i told him to drop the gun...but he....he didn't ...and i....i...i shot him....
Her face falls down under the weight of the confession and she breaks down and let it out all the tears she is been holding ...
He takes her in her arms and hugs her and tries to reassure her ...but something brokes inside him in that Momento and he's sure he never felt a pain like this before ....
J: Then you came home and proposed to me ...
Hailey looked up ....she knew this moment was about to arrive ....
H: Jay i.....i meant everything i said to you...
J: But still, you were off.... that wasn't you Hailey ...
She was shocked ....he loves this man , he's the only good thing in her life ...
H: Jay i....
Something was changing in him right now ....She could feel the distance building between them ...
J: Why didn't you tell me ?
H: I....Jay .... you're so decent and i just....i didn't want to drug you down with me ....
J: So you let Voight drag you down with him...
Hailey was speachless now....She messed up the only good thing she ever had in all her life ...
I lost him...this is it.....
He's gonna leave me ...i don't deserve him...
H: Jay ...i...
J: You need to sleep now ...i am gonna be here okay? But you need to sleep ....
Hailey agrees , confessing everything to him made her fell free somehow for a moment, but then the shame started to kick in....
H: okay ....
He gently lays her down again and goes to his side of the bed still caressing her until She eventually fells asleep...
He turns back and forth in the bed and his mind starts play tricks on him...
She meant the proposal? Or it all was because of the shock?
She really wants this?...me?
It's 6 am when he gets up from the bed ...she's still asleep and he doesn't wake her ....he dresses up and gets out ....he needs air...
Where do we go from here?
What's gonna happen?
His phone buzzes....they got a case...
She wakes up at the sounds of her phone buzzing...She must have fallen asleep ...
She looks around....Jay's is not home anymore ....He left...
He said he was gonna be here ...
He left me ....
No he didn't ...he's at work ...right ?
Her phone buzzes again ....She has to go....they got a case ....
Where do we go from here ?
What's gonna happen?
Will he ever forgive me ?