... Unspoken Words....

Chapter 2- Into the dark pain

He knows, he knows everything, he knows i lied to him!!
I can't loose him , he's all i have ...i am sorry ...i love you....i wanted to tell you!!
H: Jay ...I...I ...am s..orry!!!
J: Hailey you need to sleep , we can talk tomorrow...
I don't deserve him... he's too good for me ...
H: I ....I can't breathe ....I....
J: Hails you juat need to slow down and breathe, breathe baby .... breathe for me !!
She has to breathe , breathe baby ...i am here , i am not leaving you, you're not alone , i am gonna carry this now !!
H: I can't ....i am sorry...i am so sorry...i should've listen to you ...
J: Hails , this is not the time , we're gonna talk about this , but right now i need you ti breathe with me please!!
He takes Hailey's hands to make her feel his presence, to gound her , he gently strokes her hands to help her and guides her to breathe with him...in and out , slowly!!
Please breathe baby, in and out ...do it for me !!
I need to breathe , but i can't...Just follow him, in and out .....in and out ...in and out ...
Slowly her breaths starts to slow down and she starts to feel the blood in her veins again.
J: Just like that Hails, keep breathing for me, in and out baby!
I am gonna go to the kitchen and make you some tea.... is that okay for you?
H: No...no...please ...you just....you don't leave me please ...p...lase..
And in that moment Jay's heart brakes again and again ....Hailey , his Hailey, the badass tiny blonde cop he fell in love with is so broken right now, so fragile !!
She closes herself up like a little ball and curles into Jay's side...and he welcoms her , because it's Hailey , his Hailey !!
Come here babe , i got you , i am not leaving you!!
J: It's okay....i got you...just let it all out !!
H: I am so Sorry ....i wanted to tell you!!
J: Hails , please we can't do this right now...you have to sleep ...
How can he be so nice with me ? I don't deserve him , i am not enough ...
He keeps caressing her , her hair, her back , her face, her bruises and every time his heart breaks a little more...he didn't know before this how it is to feel this kind of pain, to feel so desperate and hopeless and alone !!
She breaks down and starts crying and again his heart breaks and the tears starts going down on his face!!
Why you didn't tell me...why you carried this alone , why...
Why you didn't trust me enough to tell me all this ...
I can't loose her, i can't live without her ....
I can't loose him, i can't live without him...i need to explain him...he needs to know ,but i....i...am so tired....i need to sleep ....i...am tired...
Jay keeps caressing her and feels her grip on his t-shirt getting week...He looks at her and can feel she's falling asleep!
J: It's okay baby....you just sleep now , i am here next to you!!
He's here...next to me ....i am sorry, i love you...
He gently helps her to lay down and when he feels she's finaly asleep he leaves her and goes to have a shower ...he needs to wash all this mess away!!
He steps into the shower and lets the hot water embrace him and ease somehow all that pain....
But the pain is still there, his heart is still broken into million pieces and Hailey still killed a man!!
The tears starts to fall and he doesn't stop them ...he needs to let it all out !!
How can we go through this ? How can i help her?
Why i wasn't with her ? Why i didn't protect her?
She needs you ...
After the longest shower of his life he steps out the bathroom and standing on the door keeps watching her !!
She's sleeping but it's not a peaceful sleep ....and he can't stop himself from reaching the bed and caressing her face!!
Sleep baby, i am here next to you...
I am sorry...i love you....i am not going anywhere.... it's you and me.... always!!