Weapons | Bucky Barnes x OC

11. REMINISCENCES

Warnings: 8400 words 😬 basically what happened between chapter 9 and 10, pay attention to dates and places. Some references to specific scenes in MCU here and there.
Language, refusing to eat, alcohol, a little killing, being tied and beaten up.
Double detailed smut(and everything that comes with it). Unprotected sex(wrap it before you tap it!). Dirty talking, praise and degradation, spitting, choking, inappropriate use of knives, blood play(stay safe out there), dom and too much edging.

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Anya laid in bed for so long it felt like weeks, months maybe. Occasionally someone brought her food but she didn't want it, always leaving it almost untouched.

If I see another one of those disgusting steaks, I swear I'll throw up my entire stomach all over the base.

The very thought that all this time, during her most private and intimate moments, she was observed made her feel a terrible sense of nausea and her guts twisting. The fact that she had never been alone with her own privacy made her feel the smallest and most useless being on earth.

A lab rat observed 24/7 had more privacy than her. And to make it even worse was the fact that it was all imprinted on photos. All her weapons were confiscated to prevent Anya from harming herself. They didn't know she would find a way, if only she had the strength to do anything but lay on the ground or the mattress, just looking up at the ceiling.

The bruises on her neck still dark and the wounds still sore were the only way she knew it hadn't been too long since that day. And every day she wondered why the Soldier hadn't really killed her. It would have been easier. But on the other hand, Anya didn't know what happened right after she lost consciousness. Perhaps they stopped him.

Another better thing would have been to wipe her memories as well. At least she shouldn't have lived through the hell her mind was now.

In fact, all she could see before her eyes were reminiscences from the past, confused images and distant voices of the past months, mingling in a smokescreen with images and memories she couldn't remember having even lived.

These thoughts haunted her day and night, plaguing her mind. Obviously sleep was not an option and when she finally collapsed, exhausted, she woke up screaming from nightmares.

✪

June 1995.
Somewhere at night over the Indian Ocean.

"Одна минута до высадки. (One minute til 'drop off.)" Announced a soldier with his strong Russian accent.

"Good." Anya said as she stood up from her seat and walked over to the Winter Soldier, who was arranging the last few things in his utility belt. "Where's my parachute?"

"No parachute or we'll draw too much attention." the Winter Soldier placed his mask and goggles on his face while Anya's eyes widened.

"What?! Are you serious right now?"

"Dead serious." he scoffed as he headed for the hatch that a soldier opened for him.

"Тридцать секунд. (Thirty seconds.)" reported the soldier.

"And when were you thinking of telling me? Where do we have to land?" she started to freak out.

"Calm the fuck down." the Soldier replied annoyed and frustrated, lowering the mask over her mouth to muffle her rumblings.
"In the ocean, of ​​course. And when you come to the surface remember to swim towards the big container ship." he mocked.
"Sometimes I feel like I've been training a fucking idiot to take my place. Do you even remember the plan?"