High Hopes ~Daryl Dixon~

Chapter Eight

Everyone remained outside, giving me some privacy with Janelle. And I was thankful. This was something I would really rather the newcomers not have to experience or witness. 
I paused outside of the door my hand raised to knock but the sound of little Elle's cries pulled me to a halt. I need to fix this. 
I knocked the door lightly three times and waited. Elle's cries quieted. "Go away." She croaked. I knew that if this was any other time, I would listen and come back later but this was different. It was the first time she had ever told me she hated me. I grabbed the door handle and twisted only for it to jam.
"Elle, it's mommy." I said slowly. "Baby, can you let me in?"
"No."
"C'mon, please. I just need to talk to you."
"You're gonna tell me off."
"No, I'm not. I promise. I understand why you said what you did, okay?"
Elle fell silent on the other side of the door. And I waited anxiously. 
"Elle..." 
Her feet padded across the wooden floor followed by the a loud scrapping and the door swung open.
Elle's head peaked around. Her eyes red and blood-shot with tears still sliding down her cheeks. "Really?"
I nodded. "Really."
She stepped out of the way and let me past. Re-closing the door behind me.  I sat down on her un-made bed, stuffed teddies and dolls spread messily across the floor, but my eyes landed on her large wooden rocking chair sat suspiciously close to the door. The chair was usually beside her bed, for when she was sick and needed supervising or she had a nightmare. Usually she just crawled into bed with me when that happened but there are the odd occasion's she'll ask me to stay in here until she falls asleep. 
"You didn't block yourself in, did you?" I asked.
Elle's red eyes widened. "No." She looked at the chair and hurried away from it as if standing near it automatically made her guilty. Elle stood in front of me, her hands twisted around the hem of her shirt and she shuffled awkwardly on her feet. 
"Elle," I started. "I'm sorry for leaving you last night. I didn't mean to frighten you. In fact that was the furthest thing from my mind."
"But you left."
"I know I did. And it was stupid of me. I deserved everything you said to me," I said. "But that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. I don't want you too feel that way about me, ever. Because I would never leave you like you thought I had or hurt you. You're my baby, Janelle. And I love you more than anything on this planet."
Elle peered up at me through her thick, wet lashes. "More than chocolate?"
I smiled. "More than chocolate and ice-cream." 
She looked up at me completely and ran into my arms. I wrapped them around her tightly and lifted her up, placing her carefully onto my lap, hugging her.
"I'm sorry, Momma. I'm sorry. I don't hate you." She mumbled into my shoulder. 
I softly stroked the back of her head, brushing my fingers through her hair. "I know. I know, baby." And with a strong grip on her, I shuffled backwards to sit up against Elle's headboard and held her close to me. 

We stayed like that for a while. Elle cuddled into me and I just played absentmindedly with her hair. She always liked it when people did that. She found it soothing. 
She eventually fell asleep, and after what happened earlier I couldn't bring myself to leave her. So I stayed, holding her tight as I watched the clouds pass by her window, listening to the chatter of everyone else, inside and outside of the house. 
They were getting ready for Otis' funeral. Beth had come up before to let me know that that's what we were going to be doing and that all of the new comers were going to attend as well. 

I looked down at Elle's sleeping figure curled up against my side and gently brushed some hair out of her face. She was beautiful and I was proud and thankful that she was mine. I couldn't have asked for a better daughter, nor would I want to. 
She moved in her sleep and whined, burying her face in to my shirt. Her small fingers gripped at my sides. 
I frowned as I watched her. Her face contorted and she whimpered again. 
"Elle," I cooed. Placing my hand on her exposed cheek. She flinched away from me and started to cry out in her sleep. "Janelle," I repeated more urgently. "Wake up."
I gave her shoulder a soft shake and her eyes fluttered open followed by a gasp. Her blue eyes were wide with fear as she frantically searched the room, for what? I'm not sure. 
"Janelle, baby, you're okay." I was careful not to touch her and frighten her more. 
Her head snapped to face me and it was stained with tears. "Momma?" She sobbed. 
I hated nothing more than seeing her cry and feeling so afraid. I nodded. "Yeah. Come 'ere." And pulled her too me. 
She held me tight as if not believe I was really here and cried into my neck.
"Shh, it's okay. It was just a nightmare." I reassured softly.