High Hopes ~Daryl Dixon~

Chapter Ten.

"Good afternoon," Daddy greeted as I dragged myself tiredly to the kitchen. Chase's hoodie still wrapped around me keeping me warm and I shoved my hands deep into the pockets. I rubbed the sleep out of my eye and took a heavy seat at the dining table.
"Afternoon?" I croaked.
He hummed. "Yes. You slept through the morning, but given the amount f alcohol you had last night, it's to be expected." He said it calmly but the disdain in his voice was clear.
"H-how did you know?"
"I'd prefer it if you didn't entertain the guests. They won't be staying long and I don't need you forming any attachments."
"So what? I'm just to continue on life as if they don't exist? Ignore them? Avoid them?"
"If that's what it takes."
"That's not fair, Daddy." I said.
"Life's not fair. We have to be careful now. We can't trust anyone, let alone a group of strangers."
"But-"
"No 'buts', Nora. Please, try to stop unnecessary contact.' He said, sternly.
I clenched my jaw. "What about Elle? She loves having them here and they've only been here a could of days so far."
"You're her mother, Nora, that's your decision but as your father i'm asking you to stop."
He placed down a plate of eggs and bacon in front of me. "Eat. It'll help."
I didn't want to eat. I don't think that my stomach could handle food right now, just the smell of the eggs was enough to have me gag. Daddy quickly handed me a bucket just in time for me to puke my guts up into. The next few moments were spent up chucking the contents of my stomach, which maninly consisted of all the wine and half of the diner from last night. After a couple of minutes all I could manage was a few painful retches that strained both my stomach and my throat. Once I was done, daddy pulled the bucket away and disposed of my vomit as I wiped my mouth.
"You look awful." Maggie commented, walking into the room with a basket of fresh eggs.
"Shut up." I grumbled. I laid my head down on my arms and moaned. "I feel awful."
"Deserves you right for wakin' us up."
I looked at her. "Huh?"
"You were loud -you always are but more so when you're trying to be quiet. You were a mess."
"I'm sorry." I apologised, pathetically.
"It's not us you should be apologising too." Maggie said. "Elle got freaked out when you came in last night.
I frowned. "Why didn't she come to me?"
"Because I went to her." She replied. "Plus, I didn't think that you were in any state to see her. Or her, you."
I squeezed my eyes shut and sighed. "I'm an awful mother."
The chair beside me screeched as it was pulled out and an arm was drapped over my shoulder. "You're not a bad mother-"
"I'm not a good one." I interrupted.
Maggie knocked her head against mine gently. "Shh, i'm talking. You're not a bad mother, Nora. You've just never been a single before. It's new to you. You're not used to having to take on everything." She paused. "I know you don't want to talk about it but Chase was quite literally your rock."
I tensed up at his name and Maggie either didn't notice or chose to ignore me as she continued.
"You relied on him. And he was you support. He was your normal." Maggie's hand squeezed my shoulder. "You're aloud to be making mistakes now that he's gone. You're still learning to get through this. You just need to be careful what mistake you make now, in this new world. Janelle is the most important person to you, keep her close and you'll know what to do next."
Silence enveloped us as we both seemed to think over her words. She was right. Everything has changed and i;m all alone in raising Janelle. I now my family would argue otherwise but it's not the same as having Chase standing beside me. And it never will be, He helped me become who I am, he always had my back and was there for me. Him not being here -him not being by my side has me aching within. He should have been here, he deserves to be here.
My shoulders sagged and I leant into Maggie's comforting hold.
"I'm still awful." I mumbled.
She laughed. "That's the aftershock of alcohol talking. You feelin' any better?"
I nodded slowly. "As long as I don't make any sudden movements. I think i've already puked up everything that I possible could have."
Maggie stood up and I only just realised that Daddy had disappeared.
"You should go and find Elle."
My eyes suddenly widened. "Oh my god! Where is she?" I demanded, frantically.
Maggie grinned at me. "She's fine," She assured. "She out front talkin' to some of the new ones."
The talk Daddy and I had before flashed through my mind. I'm not going to ruin this for her. I took a deep breathe, hopng to settle my stomach and clear my foggy head and carefully stood up with a longing glance towards my untouched plate of bacon and eggs.
I wrapped Maggie in hug. "Thank you. I love you."
"I love you too," She pulled away with her nose wrinkled. "Although you stink of alcohol. You should really shower. I'll keep an eye on Elle for twenty minutes if ya wanna do that now."
I looked down at my Pjs and grimaced. I know that most of the group saw me like this last night but it was dark and my mind was focused purely on the wine and getting as drunk as I could. There is no way in hell that i'm stepping out of these doors into broad daylight dressed like this.
"Please," I said.
Maggie ushered me to the stairs. "Go. Hurry. Elle's been asking for you all morning."
I rolled my eyes. "Don't tell me that."
"Hurry up then." maggie urged.
I hurried up the stairs, narrowly avoiding Maggie's shoving hands.