𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐆𝐨

𝐗𝐗𝐕𝐈

It was the first of December when it snowed again. Crisp air, cold feet, all the dead things. It was nice.

Draco, not so much.

I don't think he liked the snow as much as I do, it's not like I always did, either. This was a recent thing. But for Draco, looking outside meant looking at a world too pure for him.

That was sad. It made me sad to see him sit in front from of our big window day after day, his chair pulled up close, completely lost.

I didn't know if he even knew how lost he was.

I never asked him what happened to his family after the trials, I know that both Lucius and Narcissa were let off with a five year house arrest, but I never cared to look into it after that.

There was some part of my brain that thought that either way, whether they were content or even dead, he wouldn't care. For his mother, perhaps.

Obviously, he hadn't forgiven himself for his actions, let alone the people that taught him them. I'm still not sure if I completely forgive him. I don't think I ever will.

And maybe, it wasn't even the snow specifically that was so bothersome. Snow meant December, and December meant Christmas. I remember him telling me once that he never liked Christmas. Sort of like how I didn't like Halloween. Christmas meant spending time with family, loving them, cherishing them. Draco didn't have a very cherishing family.

He wasn't reading either. Or drawing. I made him go to classes, but by the end of the day, he was so tired that all he wanted to do was sleep.

"You okay?" I asked, blowing out my candle from the night before.

He nodded, but he wasn't looking at me. I didn't think he heard me, either.

I came up beside him, standing next to his chair, gazing at the mountains and the icy lake. Funny, how we were both in front of the same setting, but saw different things.

"Are you here?" I asked again, pronouncing every word much more carefully than I usually would.

This time, he didn't acknowledge me at all. He looked so forlorn. I though he was going to cry.

I hesitantly put my hand on his right shoulder, caressing it with my thumb. I didn't want to scare him away, at the same time, I got this jumpy feeling in my gut when I did it. Did I seriously not even feel comfortable touching him?

I didn't want Draco being gay to affect me this much, but it did. And I didn't understand it.

I kept my hand there anyways. We stayed like that until the sun was in full view over the mountain peaks. I looked down at his face. As I guessed, he was crying.

"Draco?"

He saw me.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"What?"

He didn't say it again.

"What are you thanking me for?"

"Staying."

Staying. I didn't think I needed a 'thank you', I was only doing the bare minimum for him. It's common human decency to light a candle for someone who is afraid of the dark, or to walk them to class so that they don't get hurt, or bring them tea instead of coffee because they said that it tasted like dirty water, or touch shoulders, or want hugs from, or notice the way their cheeks heat up when you get too close. I wasn't special.

I looked farther down from his face, his right hand, it was trembling. I didn't like that, so I grabbed it.

He clenched his fingers tightly in a fist, possibly from embarrassment, but it wasn't embarrassing so I rubbed it with my thumb, holding it firmly with both of my hands.

"Don't do that," I told him.

"Hm?" he mumbled.

"Don't hide. I know it's hard."

He looked down. But that was hiding, I just told him not to.

I took one of my hands off of his, and lifted his chin upwards with my index finger.

"Don't," I said.

We stayed like that for even longer. I held onto his hand with both of mine again. His chin pointed firmly to look out the window, my eyelids heavy,  but alert.

We watched the snow fall like leaves. Graceful, gentle, beautiful. Draco was like the snow. It looked nice, but if you touched it for too long, it would hurt you.

I let go of his hand. 

"Do you want to be alone?" I asked.

He shook his head, no.

"Do you want to talk?"

He shook his head again.

I thought for a while. "Do you want me to talk?"

To that, he nodded.

"Okay... well..." I wanted to talk about the snow, but I didn't think that he would like that. "I had a really interesting day yesterday. In Transfiguration, Ron accidentally turned his trousers into a pair of sheer, black stalkings, Hermione had to change them back," I laughed a little at the memory. "And then in Potions, Seamus spilled his Deflating Draught all over his arm and it got all flat and floppy—but you were there for that.

"Not much happened in Defence, although I did show off my Patronus a couple times. Hermione got really mad at me for making the professor angry. And then in my Astronomy class, we went up to the tower at midnight and examined the craters on the full moon.

"I stayed for most of the time, but looking at the full moon made me think of Remus—you remember him—so I got really sad and left. I kept wondering how Teddy's doing. He's my godson, Remus and Tonks' son. I haven't seen him in person yet, only in this one photo that he showed me before he– well...

I trailed off for a moment. I could've said the word "died", but I didn't want to upset Draco anymore than he already was. I had no idea what he was thinking about, it could have been death.

"Thank you," he told me for a second time.

This time, I let myself say, "no problem", because it wasn't, and because I actually did something.