not much happend at christmas eve, we went to a fancy dinner with some important people, really boring if you ask me. when we got home nothing felt right because erik wasn't there so I just sat in my room for most of the day, I could hear the tv from the smaller living room utside of my room. I got some gifts like a new suit, a tie and a expensive colone. I just gave mom and dad a cup each and some chocolate. erik would have been singing cheesy songs all day, we would have gone out to the garden and been ice-skating and drinking hot chocolate. but this year it's didn't feel like christmas, I used to be excited and happy all day but now I just feel empty and lonely. my room was decorated, not by me but by someone working for mom so it didn't feel very personal or cozy.
it took a long time until I could fall asleep, my mind was racing and I could not get comfortable in my bed.
the alarm clock woke me up at 9,00. today will hopefully be better then yesterday, I will see felice today, I don't know what we will do but just getting out of the palace might make me feel better. I just get a piece of toast for breakfast and ask malin if she could come with me to felice since i need to bring a bodyguard everywhere I go. as I put on my shoes mom come up behind me
"where do you think you're going?"
"I'm going to meet felice" she look at me with her dark eyes, I can't wait to go back to school, two weeks is more then enough to be in the same place as her.
"do you think you can just leave without asking me? it's the day after christmas, you're supposed to spend time with your family" she raised her eyebrows at me waiting for a response.
"this is not a family anymore" I open the door and go to the car waiting outside, malin is already sitting in the backseat. we drive out of the gates, it's about a 30 minute drive to felice so I listen to some music while looking out of the window. when we arrive felice is standing on the front step and wave to me when she see the car. malin follows me as the car drive away again. felice hug me and for the first time since school ended I don't have to force my smile.
"I forgot to ask you but is it okay if sara stops by in a while?" I haven't realized that felice and sara are so close, I mean they hang out in school but it's fun that they have become friend, I think they are good for eachother.
"yeah of course that's no problem!" we go in to the house, it's so clean, everything is white and everything have its place.
"it's a long time since I was here the last time, it's a really beautiful house"
"thanks, mom like everything to be perfect" she says and let out a small laugh "and I don't have the pink room anymore". we go to her room and talk about school until we hear a knock, felice run downstairs to open. I can hear how they talk and how they walk up the stairs.
jesus, he look like a god, what is he doing here? did he know I was going to be here? I quickly stand up, he looks at me with his gorgeous brown eyes, his mouth fall open and he looks to sara and felice. they look at eachother, they can't just have invited us without the other knowing, this was a set up.
"so...we can't bear seeing you guys so miserable" felice say as she shift her feet. I don't know what to do, felice and sara start to walk over to me, simon is frozen but sara take his arm and drag him across the room. we sit down on the floor and just look at eachother. I mean we did not have a plan of what we were going to do today but of all the thing to do this is not what a expected.
"truth or dare?" felice say all of a sudden, this will be interesting... sara nods and then it's decided.
"sara, truth or dare?"
"truth"
"hmm, how many people have you kissed?"
"one" she look at the floor.
"RUDE I know who you're thinking about but what about me, the party" she raised her eyebrows, me and simon stare at the two with wide eyes.
"well that was a dare, I thought you ment like for real" felice pretend to be mad at the "for real" part but couldn't hide her laughter at mine and simons faces.
"okay" says "my turn, simon, truth or dare?"
"dare"
"I dare you to talk to wille while me and felice go out of the room"
oh shit
felice and sara get up of the floor, simon sits right Infront of me.
"this is not what I thought I would be doing today" simon say
"me neither" I look at the floor "you should start, I know how much I've hurt you so tell me everything you feel" I can see how simon is subtly shaking. he take a deep breath.
"I don't know what I should say, I actually wrote you a letter to try to get my thoughts right."
I smile a little, he has thought of me, I start to get butterflies in my stomach. but maybe it's a horrible letter, maybe he never want to see me again? but at least he has thought of me.
"wille" he say staring right in to my eyes "I don't know if this is right, you and me"
no, it is right. we are perfect for eachother. I feel the tears burning in my eyes. how can he say that.
"but I love you too"
wait, what. did he just say...but he just said that we aren't right for eachother.
"you make me miserable and you put your obligations before yourself and me. how can you except me to just be okay with everything you do to break us apart? non of this is wrong but you make it feel like it is..."
I can't hold the tears back, I know how much I've hurt simon and if I could I would take it all back I would. looking back I would never have said anything after the video was leaked, let him comfort me after erik died and showed him off in school. but it's too late now. he scotch closer to me and take my hands in his.
"but you also make me the happiest I've ever been, you make me feel whole and every time you're not with me you take a piece of me with you. I'm willing to fight for you, for us, but only if you're willing to do that as well" he squeezes my hands and lean his forehead on mine. I can't get any words out I just sit and cry, he's crying too.
"I'm so sorry, and I really mean that" I hug him, as thightly as I can, in hopes that he never lets go.
"so, what should we do? you know that I don't want to be your secret"
"maybe we can start by being together in school? I will figure something out to make my mom realize that this is serious and that I truly want to be with you"
YOU ARE READING
you're brave - wilmon
Fanfiction"baby I'm fine, nothing to worry about" he tuck my hair behind my ear and look in to my eyes as a tear fall from his. I kiss the tear away from his cheek. "I've lost you once and I don't ever want to be apart from you ever again" he nuzzle his face...
