Chapter 5: Then It's Getting Help

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Well it was now morning and I'm super tired still. But I had headed out to the nurses station to check my blood sugar before breakfast. Which tasted horrible but I was starving after throwing up last night before I had gone to bed so yeah. But while I was sitting at my lonely table thinking while staring off into the stars, I got startled when I heard someone cough. I mean I looked up and saw Michael and had realized I yelped in fright when he sat down all of a sudden. I tried to compose myself and make it look like I was alright even though really I wasn't and he seemed to have bought it. Then I said * hey what's up Michael, you really startled me there.* He was smiling at me sheepishly and said ' yeah I know I'm really sorry about that. Anyways I'm doing as good as anyone would be when their in a place like this.' I had looked at him after he said that and thought yeah that's so true. And I thought it kinda is a stupid question. Then I asked * yeah dumb question my bad.* He tried to assure me that it was all ok and I decided if he didn't wanna talk about it then I'll just leave it be and try to change the subject. * Hey! * I said * do you know when your gonna get out of here. How do you find that out anyways?* Then he looked down and looked super sad, but I didn't understand why. But after he said what he did I understand why just fine, he then proceeded to say " well you see I'm never getting out of here."
I felt stupid for asking now that I knew his answer, he had told me earlier that he was here to stay until he is just gone I didn't understand what he meant till now. Well we stopped talking for a little while and I had felt bad for asking and now we're so silent it's weird, then we just started talking about random things like for real come on. Then all of a sudden this guy who was wearing nurses clothes called me over I looked at him funny then pointed at myself cuz he didn't call me by name he just said " Hey you come here real quick." so then I started walking over to him feeling like I was in trouble or something. Then as soon as I got over there he said " So hi my name's Jay, and I will be your new nurse untill you leave here ok.' I proceeded to shake my head letting him know I understood and was ok with it. So then I was about to walk away when he grabbed my arm and said " So, I was told it's time to check your sugar now sense we'll be going to lunch soon ok, so just come over here while we do that." Then I had started to say * So hi my name's may I know it's kinda a weird name but it's my name." He had just started to laugh normally people would make fun of my name and such but the way he was laughing was so genuine but not a mean one like a nice laugh I guess. He seemed to think I had a beautiful name in a way and that made me so happy. He didn't seem to think it was weird in the slightest he seemed to actually love it but I still had doubts. Then I had realized as he was staring at me that I had unfortunately zoned out again, jeez I just keep embarrassing myself don't I. * You don't think my name's weird or anything?* Then he looked at me with that ' oh my goodness' look and said " of course not it's such a unique name it's made perfect just for you and no one can take that away from you, so no I don't think it's weird I think it's absolutely stunning and fits you quite well." I had then said * yeah I totally get that it's just no one's ever like my name before so first off thanks, and second I also love my name and I get that my name doesn't make me who I am who I am makes my name, in a way I guess. Sorry doesn't make sense my bad.* Then he looked at me like he was about to laugh and said " no to be honest it somehow actually made perfect sense to me and I think that's so true so just keep believing that I'll try and remember that as well for myself you know." And I was feeling like shit cuz he didn't seem to notice the girl behind him eavesdropping on our conversation making faces and making me feel like total shit. So then I proceeded to leave for lunch acting like I was fine when really I wanted to cry so badly. But he grabbed my arm and said " you had that look in your eyes like your trying to convince everyone that your fine, when really your not fine and you never were and I know your not fine right now ok. So, please talk to me I'm here to help so just let me help you." Then I looked at him already tears slipping out of my eyes as he just hugged me the whole time and I was happy and very grateful for him being there for me cuz I really needed someone to be there for me at the time. And then I let go of him and I actually somehow felt so much better like damn the things a hug can do their so damn magical you know. Then I said * I'm feeling better now I actually never knew hugs were so magical before now so thank you. You've really helped me I really am fine now I actually for once feel happy so thank you from the bottom of my heart. This really means the world to me that someone actually cares about me and is so willing to help me.*

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