love and war in your teenage years [2]

Luke, come to the dark side

"Do you really think this is a good idea?" Hope scolded me as we were dismissed from Headmaster Bennett's office.

"Hope, what choice do we have?" I asked her, adjusting my backpack straps, "I either join them and infiltrate them on the inside or they release a line of hell. We know that Kai Parker is involved and he's a powerful witch,"

Hope let out a sigh and I finally turned to look at her, "You're right. I'd do the same if I was offered the same thing. I just don't like the idea of you going in there alone," she whispered.

"I'll be careful, you know me," I told her, my eyes softening.

"Exactly, I know who you are. The same girl who jumped into the Malivoire pit with me. You have these heroics about you and I can't help but worry that you'll do something like that again," she told me. She took a deep breath knowing it wasn't going to change anything, "Just- please be careful,"

I grabbed her hand and squeezed it softly, "I will, I'm not going to leave you behind,"

Jed cleared his throat as he walked up to the two of us. I quickly let go of Hope's hand and turned towards him, "Can I talk to you about something?"

I nodded, "Yeah c'mon, I'll see you later Hope,"

We walked up to my room and I patted the foot of my bed. He hesitantly sat down and looked everywhere, but me. I placed my hand on his knee and shook it lightly, "What's up? You can talk to me about anything,"

"How did you know you liked girls?" he whispered.

I hummed, before clearing my throat, "Back when I was in Mystic Falls High I had that thing with Dana, but I never thought of it as anything more than fooling around. There were never real feelings attached to them, but I came here and I met-"

"Josie," he finished the sentence for me, but I shook my head.

"No actually it was Hope," I told him, "I thought she was beautiful and there were some feelings there. I never acted on them though. She was always cut off and reserved from everyone, so it was hard to even know if she liked girls. But she was the first girl I saw where I was like, '' I want to actually love this girl."

"How did you know that your feelings for Hope were those kinds of feelings?" he asked.

I shrugged, "I remember it was my first ever party here. Someway, somehow someone convinced Hope to come out. We danced together for most of the party. After hearing about her family and her mom and dad. It was the first time I've ever seen her so carefree and happy. Then I think you started the game of spin the bottle," I tried recalling the familiar party, "The bottle landed on Hope and we kissed and it was magical,"

There was a beat of silence and he looked like he was completely lost in thought, "Did something happen?" I whispered to him and he finally turned to look at me.

There was a different glint in his eyes. One that was usually excited and playful was now scared and confused. I could see the tears glistening in his eyes, but he quickly pasted on a fake smile, rubbing at his eyes.

"Yeah, no. Nothing happened, I was just wondering," he said, unconvincingly.

"Jed," I gave him a look and he let out a sigh.

"I could never get anything past you, could I?" he asked and I smiled at him softly, "When Kaleb and I were on the stakeout we were talking and it got into a deep conversation. We kissed and ever since he's been avoiding me and we can't talk and I lost my best friend,"

"How are you feeling?" I whispered.

He shrugged, "I don't know. I never thought that I could like a guy...I was never really opposed to the idea, but I never gave it a second thought. But I like how I felt when I kissed him. It was like a part of my heart was put back together, but he's avoiding me so I wouldn't want to act on anything to make him uncomfortable. I'm just scared and I'm confused and I just want my best friend back,"