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save your tears for another day, screw that I'm so stupid for you.
I walked away as he followed, "look I'm sorry for what I did to you before ok, I didn't mean to do anything." His voice got louder as he spoke.
"I don't care, I'm tired just leave me alone," I mumbled, feeling a pump of guilt.
"Fine, I hope I never see you again."
A tear rolled down my eye, and the rain suddenly started pouring. Splish! Splash! My heartbeat matched with the raindrops as I continued walking. I didn't even know where I was going. All I remember was the song feel like shit by Tate McRae in my head. It was all too overwhelming for me. Like I actually feel like shit. Oh gosh, that doesn't even make sense.
It seemed like I have got home as my eyes were blurry and all I could see was light. This small hope of a star was printed in my mind for the whole night.
—
I ended up not going to school in the morning because of how sick I was of myself. I feel like I'm falling again, falling again. I'm falling.
There was a knock on the door. Dong! Dong! Dong! I looked out of my window and there was Chenle. I rolled my eyes as I ignored him. He kept on knocking for 30 minutes until he left. That's when it hit me. Immediately, I ran out of my bedroom, turned the doorknob with force, and ran up to him.
"Hey, I'm sorry I didn't open the door. I- um," I scratched my head, "just heard you now."
"Oh it's fine it's not a big deal," he waved his hands, smiling warmly.
"Anyhow," he empathized the word, "I was just sorry for what I said a few days ago and you weren't at school so I was kinda worried."
"Yea-," I laughed out awkwardly, "about that I um have you know-"
"Mental disorder? Like um, depression and like panic attacks- the anxiety I suppose."
I nodded, "To be fair it's dysthymia but like it means long-lasting depression so I- I mean like-"
"You don't have to say anything about it if it's uncomfortable for you."
"Umm um, yea thanks."
sorry for not posting a lot i'll double or triple upload today ❤️
