Been doubting if I should write this one in English but I figured you'd understand, you are our little one after all...
I know that it took a while but losing you is a huge process and I'm only standing at the beginning of the road.
I knew that losing someone you've loved all your life is a heartbreaking agony and I told myself that that loss would be the biggest loss I'd ever had to face,
guess I was wrong...
Multiple attempts, Having faith in the process, seeing suddenly two lines and knowing we created a little miracle. Falling in love with you from the first ultrasound and seeing your tiny heart beating like crazy... Sure, you were small and according to my app you kinda looked like a micro-dinosaur but you were our little gizmo. Each night mimi talked to you, whispering things, private talks which I wasn't allowed to hear, saying she loves you and kissing goodnight. We were counting days, hours, just to get the next ultrasound and to hear a heartbeat, your heartbeat. As I was lying on the examination table it didn't took long before I realized something went wrong.
There was no movement, no heartbeat and in a blink of an eye there was no more tiny dinosaur... I had you inside me, you were alive and growing and I failed to keep you safe, there are no words to express how sorry I am. I know that it's not enough and that words are just words but please know that you were loved from the very first moment and that you will always be our little gizmo, no matter where you might be...
Letters to a miracle, n.k
JE LEEST
Come what may
Poetryain't it wonderful how we hold on to life by simply finding something worth living for? and even stranger it is that it might be that in that very specific search for happiness that we end up finding something completely different...
