Come what may

it's all about...

''It has been longer than I thought, longer than I can remember actually... Words that normally fill my page in just seconds now seem to leave everything blanc as the room where we are sitting in slowly turns darker. The love for you, the fondness, it is still here, that I will always know. Yet here we are, embracing the silence, the awareness of eachother and the acceptance that we are becoming strangers sharing a bed...''

I wrote this not that long ago, let's say maybe two weeks or so... I never dropped this in my book because I didn't want you to know just how much I was missing you, us ... We've been ignoring the fact for a while now and I guess it just had to explode sooner or later, so it did... My words hurt you from time to time, I know that. But I'd rather be the one you're mad at for being honest than the one who's feeding you lies just to keep the peace.

Words can be sharp, they cut like glass and like it or not, they do can leave marks sometimes but words can be healing and clarifying too. They have the power to restore certain things, So the past few days we've been doing just that. You took the time to listen to me, to give me answers if they where in your power to give but most importantly, of all the things I needed, you where here. You looked at me and for the first in a long time it didn't feel like you were looking through me. You've been talking about the chaos in your head and the days that are always just a little bit to short. We've been going through some heavy weeks, I know that, but like you said, that too shall pass. You told me things I didn't knew, I did not knew you where feeling as lost and lonely as I was and for that I am truly sorry.

Sorry for making you feel like you're not enough anymore, because you are! I have loved you from the beginning and that hasn't changed a bit. We've always enjoyed talking to eachother and I think this might have been exactly what we needed to find eachother again. There are still things left unspoken but we'll get there. Just don't forget that I love you and that I will always put our family first. That includes you too darling...

I love you babe.