He's my sun

He gave me so much to remember

A/N: You can listen to 'you said you'd grow old with me' by 'Michael Schulte', 'Ghost' by 'Justin Bieber' and you can listen to 'your love is a song' by 'Switchfoot' for the four year's ago part. 

Louis' POV

TODAY

"Get your ass out of my bed, Tomlinson", Liam screamed while trying to get me out of his bed

"No, Payno! I don't want to wake up!"

"May I know why wouldn't you want to wake up today?"

"Because I had 5 meetings to attend yesterday and any normal human, which you are not, would be tired and every tired man deserves to sleep in"

"Are you done?"

"What?'

"Now will you tell me the real reason why you are acting so sulky?"

Liam and I had been best friends since school. He knew all my secrets since we were seven. We knew each other too well now to hide anything from each other. 

"It's 28th September"

"Oh Lou...I'm so sorry. Come here", he said moving closer to me to give me a tight hug. And I finally let my guard down and let my tears roll down my cheeks. I was really good at controlling my emotions and I hardly cried. But only one person made me lose control. The only reason why I still held on to my life. the only reason why i smiled and the only reason why i cried.  He was everything to me and I was nothing without him. That's what I was right now. Nothing. Empty. Because I didn't have him with me. The only reason why I was dead from inside and the only reason why I am still trying to survive.

Harry Edward Styles.

"Lou, its been 2 years now", Liam said trying to comfort me.

"No Li, no! you don't understand. its not 2 years. its been 16 years. how am I supposed to let those 16 years go just for those 2 years. those 2 years don't matter,Li. those 2 years mean nothing. they are trash li, they re just tra-"

"Shh Lou, breathe. I understand. I know. I know. shh', he hugged me again trying to make me calm down.

"Get dressed properly. we can go grab some breakfast. Z will be back by that time so we can go over to his place and watch some movies. does it sound good?", he asked me trying to change my mood.

" We can grab breakfast. But I am in no mood to watch a movie right now. We can go and grab brekkie and then I will go back to my place to rest. while you can go watch a nice romantic love story and cuddle with your lovely boyfriend. what say?"

"Sounds good to me.', he blushed

it wasn't the movie that actually bothered me. It was him and Zayn. They both had been nothing but kind to me but since Harry left me it had been so hard to watch two people in love. Watching Zayn and Liam fall in love was so beautiful to me and Harry but now all I see when they are together, is the realization of what I had 2 years ago and the reminder that I have lost it all now"

**

"are you sure that you would be able to handle going back home, especially today?", Liam asked me as we walked out of the cafe. 

"Yes Payne in the ass, stop worrying too much. I go home everyday. I'll be alright. Go now, don't make your Zaynie wait too much"

I waved him goodbye and grabbed a cab. 

The truth is that he was right. It was hard to go home. Because it wasn't my home, it was ours. It was mine and Harry's. I lied when I said that I went home everyday. I used to work till as late as I could. I still couldn't enter that house without feeling his absence. The absence of him waiting for me to come home, the absence of his kisses because he missed me even when we'd been apart for only a few hours, his late night coffees when I used to stay awake to study and the absence him next to me cuddled into my arms kissing my face until we both went to sleep. So sometimes, I used to sleep in my office and sometimes I used to sleep at Zayn's or Liam's but sometimes I missed him so much that only he could make me feel better. So at moments like these, I let myself drown in our memories and that was when I hugged his pillow and went to sleep in our bed which still smelled like him, at least to me. After Harry left me, I didn't change a single thing about our place. The name plate, the photographs clicked by him, the furniture, the bed, everything was as we both decorated it 4 years ago. I still remember the day my shy Harry asked me if we could move in together and the expression on his face when I said no to pull his leg. 

---

4 years ago

"Which one do you want me to get, Hazza?", I asked him when we were standing in front of the claw machine. He was grinning like a baby and that was the best visual I had ever seen in my life. the way his dimpled showed and his eyes were shining was something better than heaven. his innocence was pure bliss. I hardly could imagine a 18 year old boy getting so excited to get a soft toy. I softly kissed his cheek and he grinned even wider. and when I thought that I couldn't love him anymore,

he said

"Can you get the white teddy with the red ribbon for me Lou?"

and I realized how gone I was for him

" Anything for you, my love" , I said fondly before kissing him on the corner of his lips and walked to the claw machine. It wasn't so hard to get that teddy bear for my Lovely boy. 

" Here, have it. I got you your teddy bear." and he pulled me into a tight loved up hug before taking the teddy from me. he hugged the teddy and said, "I'll hug him when I don't have you next to me". That is when I made up my mind. I am never going to stop loving this boy.

""Hazz, look at me" I said , lifting his chin up to look at me, "you'll always have me. even when  am not with you physically, I will always be thinking of you. Even when you don't have me next to you, you will always have my love."

"I will always love you, too lou but I know that my Lou bear will always be next to me. FOREVER. He said with teary eyes and placed his hands on my cheeks before placing his lips on mine and we kissed for what seemed like forever before he broke the kiss to touch our foreheads and whispered, " Lou, I really want to live with you forever.  Would you like it if we moved in together?" My heart started beating louder with every breath we took and I separated our foreheads and looked down at my feet before shaking my head. Such a piece of shit I was, trying to pull his leg. I would have continued it for some more time if I hadn't seen the dejected look on his face. It was when he said, "oh" and turned around to walk away, that I held his hand and pulled him towards me and crashed our lips together. I could feel his tears and I broke the kiss to kiss his tears because I could never watch him cry.  Touching our foreheads again, I whispered, "Listen to what I've got to say, baby. I wouldn't like to move in with you, I would love to move in with you"

He looked at me as if he just won the world over. Just me agreeing to move in with him, made my boy so happy. His happiness was always in small moments. It was so easy to make him happy. You just have to love him with all your heart. That was when I realized that his smile was my most prized possession and his happiness was the reason of my happiness. They say that marriage connects two souls but we didn't need no paper from the city hall to connect our souls. that was when I decided that I would never let him go. 

Even if he lets me go

----

Today

'Even if he lets me go", I thought. I had kept the promise I made to myself 4 years ago. I still hadn't let him go. 

I let them flow, the tears. Today was the day when I told him I loved him, eight years ago. Today was the day we made love for the first time. Today was the day when he asked me to move in with him. 

Today was the day I was going to ask him to marry me two years ago. Today was the day he left without saying anything to anyone, two years ago. 

A/N: This is the first time I have written a Larry fan fiction. Please provide your much needed support. thank you. TPWK. I'll post the second chapter by tomorrow.