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This is a review for When the Night Falls by Nikkawaanjai.
The first three parts of this story that we are going to review are Chapter 1, Chapter 2, and Chapter 3.
I appreciate the Introduction part of the story. It gives a little insight about the characters that we are going to meet in the next chapters. Although, I don't find this part of the book necessary (because the story itself or narration has the duty to describe, to show and tell what kind of characters we are going to encounter), I still kind of liked the way the Introduction is written.
I wasn't familiar with the people that this story/fan fiction is inspired from or based from, but their names ring like those that came from Thai BL series love teams, which excites me because I see a lot of tweets about these type of series being commended by a lot of its viewers. From this, I was expecting to have the kind of experience these viewers had when I read the first three chapters of this story!
CHAPTER 1
• I like that this story is written in English. Refreshing for me after reviewing five stories before this one, all of them written in Tagalog/TagLish. Hats-off also to Filipino authors who can pull off a creative work using a foreign language.
• For this chapter, (this is usual with previous stories I reviewed and when it comes to first drafts, btw) the author should do some series of proofreading. Some grammatical errors needed to be corrected like the tenses:
++ I mademy grand entrance... (past tense)
++ I smirk... (present tense)
++ I stride my way to the boardroom... (present tense)
++ The MG Empire wasunder ruckus... (past tense, must be in present tense because the problem still occurs unless the story focuses on the narration of past events, which is not yet clear because the tenses in this chapter are all over the place).
++ I was browsing the submitted documents... (past tense)
++ I askher... (present tense)
++ I hearda soft voice... (past tense)
Also, few of the punctuations are doubled, like the double quotation marks here:
Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
