Mafia Family

2. I wish I could die (Edited)

I knew what was coming. My whole life turned upside down after aunt's death. She protected me from the monsters. She was the shield i need. Samuel and uncle although didn't really hit me or abused me when aunt was alive, but they never even showed their care or love to me.

Uncle took the whip and kicked me again when I scrambled from the floor and attempted to run. My back was exposed to be brutally whipped by them. I was laying on my stomach. Samuel restricted my movement by placing his feets on my arm. Now I cannot turn.

"Count these bitch and tell the reason" uncle said.

1st whip landed on my already sore back, and i cried out loud.

"Reason! " He demanded.

"For being ungrateful" I whimpered.

2nd whip on my back and i cried.

"For killing my mom" I said

3rd whip

"For killing my Aunt"

4th whip

"For being a burden on you"

5th whip

"For coming in this family" I cried.

Whip after whip and I was stating the reasons.

10th whip

"For being born and not dying" I lastly whimpered.

Well unfortunately, these reasons are imprinted in my brain now and this cruel world makes sure that I don't forget them.

"Good girl" Samuel smirked satisfied seeing my state and listening my reasons.

"Now go to your room and don't show your face" uncle said kicking me last time on the stomach.

I stood up with my aching body and almost fainted but I know I have to reach my room, sorry not room it is like a store room.

I made way to the store room and looked myself in the spare mirror. I pulled my shirt up and immediately looked away in disgust.

Slap marks on face, back bleeding through cuts, stomach and ribs a mixture of purple and blue and lastly my twisted ankle which I guess is now swollen.

To be honest I hate myself. I killed my mom, my aunt, my father despised me as to what I have heard, hell I don't even know his name.

But the only thing that is keeping me alive and giving me hope is this pandent. It's my mom's pandent. There's 'AV' engraved on the ring.

It's a simple marriage band from what i presume with a diamond in the middle. The AV i guess are my father's initials as my mother's name was Louisa.

Aunt never told me my real last name.
She never told uncle or Samuel about this ring and till now it's hidden and safely with me.

Aunt gave me this and told me to keep it safely and secretly. She said it was given by my mom. She made me wear it when I was given to my aunt. I was 1 year old at that time. After that aunt told me that she died because she was injured, probably an accident.

I guess my family hated me other than mom, that's why she gave me to my aunt.

Aunt told me whenever I miss my mom Or stressed or sad, just think that this necklace is sign that there will be a new tomorrow.

I wish I could die but I can't. I can't fail my aunt. She told me never to lose hope.

After swallowing 2 painkillers, I decided to sleep.

I kept the pandent in my hand and tried to sleep, but I could only think of me being a burden. Nobody loves me except Ivan. Nobody wants me. I miss mom even though I didn't see her but I know she loved me. I miss my aunt who protected and raised me all these years. It was a week before my 13th birthday when she went to market to buy me gift and she was met with an accident.

She died and others blamed me for her death, because I was the reason she went out. And this is how I killed my aunt.

Since my aunt died there's rarely a nught when i haven't slept in pain. My life is fucked up and ruined. Why God hates me so much? Why can't i be happy? How can a person abandon his own one year old child?

I don't wanna kill myself but i always pray that these monsters beat me to death everytime they inflict pain on me.

I look at the far corner of my room where I know a blade is present. I have attempted suicide before. That day was the worst beatings i have ever gotten. I used toh cut myself before to inflict more pain so i can rest my eyes forever but Ivan found out that i was starting to cut myself and ge made me swore to bever do that again. So i never touched that blade after that incident.

So instead, I took out my pandent and looked at it like it was my mother
"Mom, why did you give birth to me? Why didn't you kill me when i was an infant?" I sobbed.

"Please mom I beg you, i don't think I'll last longer anymore. Their beatings are becoming worse everyday." I said whimpering.

"I know i planned that I'll move out once I'll be 18 but i don't think I'll survive. Mom please give me strength. Aunt please help me."

I cried and cried and finally slept hoping to never wake up again.