Letters From a Betrayed Wife

Letter 3 : Two Wrongs Don't Make It Right

Dear Sean, 

Yes, now you are a stranger for me. I don't accept you as my man now.

I was really surprised to know that in my last letter that I wrote to you, you just noticed one thing. It was my intention of revenge cheating on you so that you may understand the pain and hurt of ultimate betrayal that I am going through which is caused by the man who has been my whole world throughout my life when I got married and left my parents behind forever.

Trust Hurts us Deeply!

You cannot replace love and mend a broken heart with a cheap date or a night of sex.

By the way do you really know me ? 

Isn't it funny that the rest of the letter was meaningless and worthless to you. 

Remember two wrongs don't make a right. 

Let me share the reality of the crap that you made me go through. I want to heal and healing comes in 5 stages, which I've now seen them all.

I have learnt in my therapy that there are five stages of suffering of infidelity betrayal trauma. The first stage is of 'Denial' when I was numb and acted like it didn't happen just to try to keep things normal. I'm sorry you entered my life. I have only myself to blame that I made you stay. I was in denial for so long that you and I are not meant to be together.

The second stage is of 'Anger' that's when I blew up and tell the betrayer what we really think. I was in the second stage when I wrote the second letter to you. The anger is natural. Revenge resounded in my heart and soul where once only love existed. Such a terrible, an absolutely terrible sentiment replaced that. Revenge sounded like the most beautiful thing to me at that moment. Throwing it back at you is natural too just because I'm traumatised. It takes a lot of time and working to get through so many emotions, contemplating this revenge is a therapy in itself for catharsis. So I would not do anything rash.

Do you know what my therapist told me about the anger? She said, "Just know that anger is his fuel and your enemy, keep your head high and your thoughts positive, focus on yourself and let karma do the rest. Stay strong!!"

The third stage is of 'Bargaining' which I don't know how I'll face. Yeah, this one really sucks. I may tell you "If you will come back I'll forgive and forget." I don't think I'll be ever able to do it. Because we shouldn't give in, never!

The fourth stage is of 'Depression' which is self-explanatory. Yes, I am suffering from PTSD 'Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.' Your ultimate betrayal has caused it. I am at all-time low of my life.

The final stage is 'Acceptance' which is almost the end. We accept that it's over and move on to bigger and better things! I am waiting it to end as soon as possible.

I want to share it with you to throw the light on my intention of revenge cheating/affair. As you can see that during the second letter I was very much on second stage of anger.

Moreover I don't want to hurt a man who owes me nothing by involving him in my revenge. 

I know if I hooked up with a guy you would hit the roof. However, I'm not that type of a woman. I don't want to do it because my revenge cheating will only be an ego bruising hurt for you, not a heart ripping and soul destroying hurt similar to the one that you have caused me. Cheaters have no empathy or integrity so it is very fortunate of you that you will never experience such a pain from me at least. 

I don't want to act on feelings but make logical decisions.

 I've had opportunities to cheat but I respected my relationship and my partner so I never have even thought of it. I can't stand the thought of another man touching me after 25 years of devoted marriage. I can't indulge in the same filth of obscenity as you did and expect not to be just as filthy. Why should I lose my integrity and moral compass because you did the same?