Attachment Theory - Bucky BarnesxOC

Part 34: kozmic blues

18+ WARNING MINORS DNI

For the first time in a long time, her dreams terrify her. Bucky disappearing in a myriad of terrifying ways. Drowning. Shot. Stabbed. Screaming. Falling away from her off of that train. Except she's in Steve's place, screaming for him while tears rush down her cheeks and her throat clenches.

He's always screaming in every nightmare. She is too.

She can't tell how many nightmares she's had so far. Ten? Eleven?

"Hey," Steve whispers, gently shaking Alice awake. She gasps, eyes popping open and her body tenses. Steve takes a step back, pulling his hand away.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she lies, wiping the sweat off of her brow.

"What's up?"

He bites his lip.

"Are we okay?"

She blinks a few times, looking over her shoulder. Bucky's face is buried beneath his pillow and his chest gently rises up and down. She turns back to Steve and rubs her eyes.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't we be?"

"Just after last night. I want to make sure you don't hate me."

Alice sighs.

"Let's talk outside."

Quietly, she slips out of bed. Steve has already put his cot, pillow, and blankets back in the closet. It's like he was never here. Alice follows him outside and gingerly shuts the door behind her. She's learned that Bucky has an incredibly acute sense of hearing, as does Steve. It's almost impossible to do anything without waking him up, but the events of last night have him in such a deep sleep that she's certain he won't hear or feel anything until she pads back into the room to go back to bed. Steve leans against the wall and sighs.

"I want us to stay on the right foot," he says softly. "I don't even know if that's the right expression."

"Me neither," she laughs. "Steve, we're okay. I'm sorry that I freaked out at you, but I'm just worried about his mental state. Waking up in stirrups and straps across his wrists can't be good for his recovery."

"I know, Alice. I just... I was afraid he was going to hurt you. Sam and I? We can handle ourselves. Hell, even Bruce can, but you're not a superhero. I just... if something happened to you, it would kill Bucky – it would kill me."

His eyes graze over the dark bruise on her chin. She can feel the tenderness in her jaw, in her back teeth. Alice doesn't even want to ask him how bad it looks. It feels bad enough. She smiles and Steve keeps talking, staring at the ground and rubbing the back of his neck as his cheeks blaze.

"I like you, Alice. You're good for Bucky, and I'm grateful that you're here. You're clever, you're funny, you're compassionate, and you take care of him. You've been taking care of him longer than I have. That means a lot to me. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were finally coming around on me."

Steve chuckles.

"I'm sorry I was so standoffish and rude before. I... I wasn't sure about you at first. I'm so goddamn protective of him, but I really want us to be friends, and I don't want to screw that up. I think we have a couple of common goals."

"I feel like we've had this conversation before."

"Yeah," Steve laughs. "I just really don't want to screw up the peace between us."