Internal Hell

Ward 10:Remind Me

"The mind is its own place and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven".

John Milton

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When maestro Frank entered his office he was suddenly shocked to see a young man sitting on the sofa.

Unlike the old days Harix was sitting now on the sofa not on his swivel chair. His eyes examined the young man's appearance, and he could tell by just looking at his facial features that he was suffering again from the wrath of this world. He released a deep sigh and sat nearer to his favorite student.

"What's the reason for this visit?"

The maestro inquired the young man who was astonished at the moment.He was thinking deeply and his maestro was waiting for his reply.He was silenced for so long that his maestro thought he wouldn't answer him but then when he was out from his reverie ,he whispered softly while taking a deep breath

"I killed another human Maestro"
He confessed when the reality touched his mind.Running to his maestro was a weak move.He used to deal with his pain alone and sometimes he would imagine himself drinking the forbidden drink but this imagination didn't bring to life.The young man knew that forgetting your problem was a cowardice thing to do.And though he was embarrassed to carry his sorrowful heart to the academy,for him this was the only place that could understand and heal the small piece of flesh,his wretched heart.

"You are just a doctor you can treat them but the one who heals is Allah"

The maestro disagreed with him,his student always ran to his teacher every time life would beat him.

"It is not my patient"

"Who?"

"The father of my patient, first it was her,then my Baba,then him,who is next Maestro? Is this how I would pay my sin? to be consumed by heavy guilt and to be haunted by my conscience?"

The voice of complaint can be heard from Harix.A voice full of uncertainties and queries. He was blaming himself again for Mr.Pura's death.He thought the reason for the old teacher's death was because of the money but he had no idea that it was because of the debt of Mr.Pura's wife.

Mr.Pura had saved some money so that he could find a good doctor for Drayan.He was a peaceful man and even though he didn't pray five times a day,he didn't engage in gangster's business but of course if would be better if he could do both the former and the latter.But the cunning Mrs.Parsa was just good on inventing lie.Instead of taking the blame like a noble wife she blamed it to Drayan.Drayan might be in a state of insanity but she understood it when Mrs.Parsa told her that her baba died because of finding money in order to send her to the great hospital.

"Shhh...son listen to me,you are shaking,your faith is shaking,do you know that doubts are from Satan,how could you blame yourself for the qadr(fate) of other people ha? whether you are there or you are not there ,you did this or you didn't do this,they will die on that day and on that time,you have no power to take life and to decide if they will die or not,and I know you,you can save people but you can't kill them"

The maestro carefully explained the most painful to bear from among the six articles of faith, Allah's decree,the qadr.

"I wish I am like you,I wish I could immediately understand everything"
The reason why he always ran to his old school when every time he felt lost it was because in there,he could remember what he had forgotten.For him the university,his maestro were the cure of his ignorance on his Creator

"You are still young and you are still learning,you believe in my words because you already know it,you just forgot it,I am just here to remind you what you have forgotten"

The maestro knew that the young soul was still ripe and far from being an old fruit but the test that was being thrown at him was like he was a pro in dealing with tribulation.

But he could see that the man wanted to learn about life. Through these trials he could gain strength and by mustering enough courage he could beat life. The young man was like bamboo,that with every stroke of wind, he would just bend but would not be breaking.

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Harix seemed affected by Mr.Pura's death,would this guilt that consumed him would push him to take care of Drayan?