"There is no greater hell than realizing you're in love with the guy you hate".
— Lois Greiman
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"You raped her,you violated her soul!"
Her eyes turned bigger than normal,his words were very familiar to her, and she browsed her mind until she found her hidden memory.
_______
The sadness engulfed the two broken hearts.Harix tried to put back the fragments of emotions in his mind.He tried to collect the pieces of his courage and asked for forgiveness.
By the time they learned that Drayan heard their dark secret,he knew that the growing seed of love died,died from the harsh wind of truth.It withered by the heat of reality.A reality that saying he was the one who ruined the soul and dignity of Drayan.
Harix entered their bedroom while Drayan absentmindedly put all her dresses inside the black suitcase.
Harix looked at his wife and looked around,his gaze fixed on the pile of clothes that were forced to seal inside the already filled suitcase.
"Drayan"
Harix started.
"Don't" Drayan warned.She didn't want to listen,any word from him would just deepen the cut.
"Drayan please" Harix still insisted,
desperate enough to earn her forgiveness.
Drayan finally stopped,she gave up on forcing the clothes,she kicked the suitcase that didn't cooperate with her, and then she looked at her man with her deadly look.
"You ruined me, but you fixed me, but would you still fix me if you had known that I am the woman you ruined?"
She hated him, but she loved him.She knew deep inside that Harix was a changed man now, but she wanted to allow herself to process everything first.
It was difficult to accept the insane revelation.It felt like, like an arrow, that being forced to be buried in the flesh of her healing heart.
And now before the wounds closed, it was abruptly opened and bled again.She had many scars now,almost all parts of her soul acquired wounds,wounds that couldn't be treated so easily
"It's fate that led me to you,Allah gave me a chance to fix everything"
"Since when? Since when did you learn the truth?"
Drayan desperately demanded.She wanted to know for how long her husband was deceiving her
"Just recently" Harix answered while looking away.The emotions she carried in her eyes was too much to look at.It seemed like it bore all the hatred of the world. But this hatred was all directed to him. He couldn't welcome it, because her eyes right now were only showing apathy and distress.
"Why did you keep it from me?" Drayan asked with a bitter tone
"I got scared" Harix's honest answer. He got scared that the woman would leave him, but he was also aware that this truth would come out, but he still chose to stay deaf and mute because he didn't want to end this crazy fairy tale.
"You want me to find out this way?"
Drayan stepped forward to push the man.She pushed his hard chest, but the man didn't even move from where he stood
"I need time,it's not that easy"
Admitting your sin would take a bunch of strength.He prepared himself, but he was too late.Too late to set everything straight and make everything right.
"Divorce me.Release me from your hold,unchain me from your heart" Drayan dropped her last bomb. A request that Harix would not be willing to grant. She wanted to be out from Harix's custody
"Don't do this to me" Harix was broken,and the statement of Drayan made him more even broken
"I can't look at you,how can I look at you without pressing my scar? You give me this scar"
Drayan said while pointing her index finger to her heart.She was hurt,very hurt.
"I regretted it,forgive me"
"You must regret it forever"
Drayan cried out loud while carrying the suitcase of clothes and pain with her .She left the remaining clothes scattered on the floor, just like how she left her beautiful memories with the man she detested but still secretly needed.
She was confused at the moment.She felt like she had two hearts.One was ready to love him,and the other one was ready to hate him.But she hoped she could convince the other one to hate the man, but she couldn't,it was impossible.
"Drayan please you have two hearts now"
Her husband hugged her from the back. She was stuttered from the sudden contact and suddenly became a statue when she realized the meaning of Harix's words.
"Wa--...what did you say?"
"You are pregnant"
Harix excitedly but tiredly stated
"You will never meet my child and that is my punishment to you"
Drayan said while staring straight to nothingness
"Just kill me than deprive me of the right to be a father of our child"
Drayan didn't listen, but took a step forward.Harix moved,he was planning to hold her again but when he was about to grab her arm the woman immediately threatened him
"Don't dare to follow me Harix,don't make me hate you even more"
With all her strength, Drayan untangled herself from her husband's embrace.
Harix wanted to follow and Drayan wanted to get away. But sometimes letting go and walking away were the best thing to do to free someone from a heavy load of pain.
The husband allowed the wife to walk away to give her time to synthesize everything;but he promised to his self that he would not give up this marriage no matter what.
YOU ARE READING
Internal Hell
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