Little Girl Blue - 𝐖𝐋𝐖

𝐈. Pragma- TwentyEight

Who knows how long I've been staring at the ceiling. I think the sun rose, maybe it rained. Harper tried to get me to move, talk.

My skin prickled at her words, the  malice in her tone, and how hated by her I suddenly became. It was a dreadful night. The townhomes being far from the house and my terrible sense of direction, led me to her doorstep wet and bleeding.

Harper immediately cursed Jane, kneeling at the wound on my knee and repeatedly apologizing for nameless things.

I mostly just nodded, agreeing, mumbled a few yeses and no's. She tucked me into bed after that and left me alone for the evening.

It was best to forget her after that. Maybe this was best. Some part of me felt like we were still strangers, she was still that teacher at school. Everything happening outside of that reality proved why there's one in the first place. She should've never said anything that night at the bar. I should've never gave in.

Since then, I've been clouded by the world she's built for me all while hers was crumbing down.

"My mom made us breakfast, are you hungry?" Harper popped her head around the door. The scarf that covered her curls slipping backwards, morning dew still written on her face. I felt sick for dragging her into this—again.

I sat up to remove the crust from my eyes. "Yes, uh," Looking around, "can I use your bathroom?"

She pointed to the door in the corner, "there's towels and a change of clothes on the counter. Meet me downstairs when you're done."

I tried to muster up a smile and when she knew I couldn't, she forced one instead. I couldn't blame her for not being too happy about this. Jane had become a villain to her and she couldn't understand why I didn't see it.

Of course I was choosing to be oblivious. This time for my own sake.

"I'll be quick." I muttered, slowly peeling back the covers.

My body felt like a wet rage once I was able to get up. Dragging my feet into the bathroom I didn't bother looking in the mirror.

I waited for the water to get hot, allowing the steam to ease the tension in my jaw before proceeding to scrub my body.

I didn't realized how used to her scent I got, how stuck to my skin it was. I think I cried again. The water was pouring down my face and if tears did fall, I tried not to notice.

Any while longer and Harper would come back knocking. And anyway, I believe her mother was home and the long awaited introduction of meeting her was now under unfortunate circumstances.

I dried myself, noticing the poorly bandaged wound on my knee and the cuts around to compliment.

Ms. Rainbow is a beautiful woman. Inside and out. It was helplessly seen in her daughter and her home and my presence was contradicting to the scene in front of me.

They had clearly been up early, talking. Perhaps about me. After all, when I stumbled into the kitchen, their eyes looked terribly worried. Harper was angry, fist balled on the counter while her mother nursed a cup of tea.

"Good morning." Her warm voice spoke. I did my best to look her in the eye. Those sweet, brown eyes that matched her skin. She was tall, lean, hair long and loced to her waist.

"Good morning."

Harper motioned for me to sit. At the table, there was an omelet prepared and a glass of orange juice. "How are you feeling?" She asked.

Rainbow, already tired of the small talk, motioned to my clothed knee. "I heard you took a pretty bad fall, mind if I look at it?"

Harper's pleading eyes moved me to nod slowly.  Rainbow searched the cupboards for supplies while her daughter watched silently nearby. The time of day was still unapparent, from the kitchen nook outside looked dull.

She extended my leg across her thigh, sucking her teeth at the sight. "I tripped," I hoped to ease the woman's concern. It wasn't a complete lie.

"Eat your breakfast." She hummed.

I failed at doing so gracefully. Shaking as her fingers dabbed at the reopening skin, a fire left behind in the exposed wound.

Breakfast wasn't much of anything else. Rainbow had already delayed her shift while waiting for me to wake. Harper, who was convinced I couldn't be left alone, remained a safe distance for the rest of the day, giving up her room to host my sulking.

I returned to work, eventually I would have to stand on my own feet, however that looked without her influence. The fear of depending on someone else left me quick to act. I simply wouldn't allow it.

Finding myself back on lane 4, that same annoying beep antagonized it's way through my shift. Every time someone stumbled through the automatic doors I secretly hoped they were the jaded brunette.

"Did you find everything alright?" This was the only time I smiled, half heartily at customers who would come in with their small town talk and news. Their ordinary lives defined my own. Yet still, what the citizens of Walbank do and are behind closed doors varied. Even typical school teachers can be psychotic.

The woman smiled, balancing a baby on her hip while rummaging through her purse. "Florence, such a pretty name."

"Thanks," I mumbled, continuing to check out the packages of diapers and formula. I looked at the baby, painfully identical to the woman's who body she coddled. She grinned at me, a belly-fulled laugh exposing her two front teeth.

I giggled back, scrunching my nose to hear the sound again.

"You like kids?" The mother asked, handing me a debit card.

I snapped from my playing, the mother smirking at the interaction. "I haven't been around too many if I'm being honest."

Taking the receipt, she bounced the child. "That's too bad. Gideon is so helpful with Addy." She motioned to the child and only then did the beach blonde hair between the three become clear.

I didn't say anything about having known Gideon. Besides, with him being my coworker she assumed I knew who he was and wished me a good day. The child's small hand waving behind.

It was the week everyone's mother was coming around and the absence of my own pierced my heart. She never acted that way, she never extended any kind of love that wasn't in the form of a backhanded compliment or simple disapproval. It struck me to feel the yearn for her. How easy it could've been to go to my mother and bawl my eyes out, be soothed.

It wasn't long before I eventually saw him. Our last interactions having been awkward, left me hesitant. "Hey."

"I haven't seen you in awhile," he paused his music and popped out an earbud. "Everything going okay?" His question unintentionally hit a sore spot, but I'd be damned if Harper found me crying at work again.

I sniffled. "Totally fine. I met your mom by the way. Your sister is the cutest."

He chuckled, surprised I was engaging in conversation. "Do you have any siblings?"

"Nope." Walking out of the lane, I searched one of the aisles for a bag of chips.

Leaving it at that, he followed behind with his hands in his vest pocket. "I babysit sometimes, maybe you could help one night." Unsure of how to respond, he quickly rushed in. "Something casual, I mean."

"Yeah sure." In the moment, I was only thinking about things that would get my mind off of her. Spending an evening with Gideon and his sister could help.

Maybe that was wishful thinking. This all certainly has been.