Runaway Wife

-Chapter 16-

-Peyton- 

The pain that came with losing a child was unimaginable. It never got better. It was like a weight that followed you around day after day. Some days it was manageable, other days-most days-it was excruciating. You just learned to live with it...something that you had to fit into your life. 

It was something that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. It was something that I couldn't imagine going through twice. To watch my husband going through this a second time was enough to break my heart into a million pieces. He was restless, scared, and angry. There wasn't much we could do after our visit with Veronica, so for most of the day we had spent it locked in the hotel room. 

It wasn't helping the situation. Dean had paced across the room for majority of the day, called his partner a hundred times and finally announced he was going for a walk. Part of me thought he wouldn't return, but he had thirty minutes later with a pizza and whiskey. Was drinking such a hot idea? I didn't think so, but I really was no one to judge. I knew what it was like  to lose a child. 

Even though I believed with every fiber of my being that Mia would be brought back to us, it was all the same. Right now, she was gone. The unknown was scary and it was driving Dean absolutely fucking nuts. I'd wanted to stay up with him and just be there but I was tired and had fallen asleep early-long before he had broken into his bottle. 

Now, it was late and the only light coming into the hotel room was from the moon and street lights. I was unsure of what had woken me but it didn't matter. For a second, before my eyes could adjust to the darkness, I didn't feel Dean beside me and panicked. 

I was sitting up and reaching for the lamp when I noticed he was still here, sitting in the chair beside the window. Almost immediately my racing heart began to calm and I let my hand fall away from the lamps switch.  It was so hard not to notice that half empty bottle and he was still going. 

All I could think to do was sigh as I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and got up. He didn't notice I was there until I was standing right in front of him and looking down. Oh boy, drunk was an understatement. "Hmm, hi baby." Those three words came out in a slur as he gazed up at me with glossy, intoxicated eyes and then tossed back the remaining contents that were in the glass. 

"You're still awake-I don't think you need anymore of that," I tsked and snatched up the bottle before he could. 

"You're probably right." Before I could get away and discard the liquor down the sink in the bathroom, Dean leaned forward in the chair and grabbed me. There wasn't much I could do but fall into his lap as he pulled me down with more strength than I gathered he knew he was using. "I'm sorry, I just-I can't fucking stand sitting around here. You don't know what's going through my head right now, Peyton. Do you want to know...what I'm going to do to whoever has them?" He struggled with more than a few of the words. 

The smell of the liquor was strong and potent coming off of his breath. One thing was for certain, he was going to feel like shit in the morning. "No, I don't want to know and I don't want you to think about it anymore. Not tonight." Especially in the state he was in at the moment. "Let's go to bed." I urged, intent on getting up. 

But his hold around me tightened and just like that I knew that he was not thinking of Mia any longer. A look came over his face that I knew well. Sudden arousal and that was a no-no. "Mmm, to bed, with you? That sounds great." The smell became ten times more stronger as he nuzzled his face into my neck and proceeded to kiss my throat. "Let's see how many times I can make you cum," he proposed.  

Before his hands could travel or he got anymore terrible, drunken ideas, I pushed off of him and stood up. I made a point to take a few steps away. Considering the circumstances and his intoxication, that was most certainly not going to happen. Of course there was the fact that I had been through this with him once before in life and I didn't want to go back. I was so not interested in my husbands way of grieving. Liquor and sex with no meaning. No. Thanks.