Accidental (A Ziam AU)

Chapter 12

Accidental - Ch. 12

I waited outside as his parents visited Liam first. I was so desperate to see Liam, to hold him and never let him go. Was this going to the last moment I had with him?

I wanted to badly to kiss him again without the feeling that it would be our last. I want to hold his hand as we walk down the sidewalk. I want all of that, but as it stands, it's unlikely that he will live past the next couple of weeks.

"Zayn," A soft voice called out. My head snapped up, to meet the eyes of Liam's mother. As I was about to stand, and placed a hand on my shoulder, keeping me in my seat. She sat down in the chair across from me and leaned forward.

"Zayn, I want you to be prepared before you go in there, okay?" I nodded, frightened for her words.

She swallowed but continued, "His kidney is recently gone, so he's quite pale and weak, so don't push him too much, okay? The doctors said that his body is still getting used to only having one working kidney, and needs all of his energy focused on that." I nodded. I expected this much. "Also, he's very distraught, after just finding out about all of these things happening to him right as he wakes up. So don't mention his condition, he's well aware." I nodded and she wiped a fallen tear. " I'm sorry, Zayn, I'm just getting real mom like and protective." She gave me a half smile which I didn't have the heart to reciprocate.

"He's been calling for you ever since he's woken up. He was a bit upset when you weren't there." My throat closed at her words; I couldn't possibly mean that much to him, right? But the thought of Liam asking for me, made my stomach twitch and turn and made my throat close up.

She smiled at me again, "Mr. Payne should be coming soon. Go see him, love."

She didn't have to tell me twice. I nodded and stood almost violently, making my way down the hallway.

"Zayn!" I turned around to meet her smiling at me fondly, "He's room 223."

I couldn't help but crack a smile. I was so intent on seeing him, I didn't even know what room he was in.

"Thank you." I said sincerely and made my way down the hall, eyes locked on the room numbers.

216

217

218

My legs couldn't move fast enough. What if I was too late? What if he died before I could see him?

219

220

Would he look different? Would this be the last time I would see him? And talk to him?

221

222

I slowed to a stop as I watched Mr. Payne exit the room, catching my eye. His face instantly turned from looking grave and solemn, to caring and sympathetic. He reached for my shoulders, swaying me slightly, getting a good look at me.

"Zayn. I know you are a good kid, and there's nothing more I want, than you and my son to be happy. Be good to him, however long he has left. He deserves it."

Tears were streaming down my face, looking to the man with words I couldn't say. I knew that I would do nothing but care for the boy that I grew to love. I knew that no matter how long he might live, I wanted him to be happy. But the words were caught in my throat as I looked at his father.

He seemed to understand my struggle, and pulled me into a bone crushing hug. I gripped the man's waist, scared for the future. I wanted our whole lives to be together, but now, that might never happen.

I felt him kiss the top of my head, before patting my shoulder as we broke apart, "Go talk to him. Make me feel better." He didn't say another word as he began walking down the walkway, slumping his shoulders in a depressing defeat.

I took a deep breath before placing my hand on the door handle, turning the cold metal, and cracked the door open.

Liam's eyes slowly looked up to meet mine. He shifted slowly in his bed, wincing slightly at the pain, trying to get a better look at me, "Zayn?" He asked quietly, letting his body sink back into the mattress.

I nodded closing the door behind me and striding over to his bed quickly. I cupped his face in my palm, rubbing his cheek with my thumb fondly. Liam closed his eyes and leaned into my touch, placing his hand over mine.

"Zayn, I'm so sorry." He opened his eyes and locked onto mine. "I wish I could have been stronger, and tell the world that we are dating. I wish I could go back and tell you the things I was too frightened to say. I wasn't a coward and-"

"You are not a coward." I said sternly, brushing his short hair off his damp forehead. His mother was right. He was so pale, and his skin was an ashen white, while his lips were a pale, pale pink. "I'm sorry for pushing you to do something you weren't ready for."

There was a silence, of complete guilt and an unspoken conversation. I rubbed his cheek as he looked at me with those big brown eyes, I was so drawn to. I wanted to scoop him up in my arms and hold him and love him until he was safe again.

I watched as he looked from the heart monitor, to his IV needle in his arm, back to my eyes, "Zayn, if I die, I want you to know-"

I pressed a finger to his lips softly, "Don't Liam. You aren't going to die. I don't want to hear it. You are going to live."

Liam just scoffed, rolling his eyes, "Don't tell me god damned lies! There is a 90% chance that I'm going to die, and no matter how much you say I'm not, it's not going to change anything! So let me finish what I have to say!" His heart was beating quickly, and I faintly remember Mrs. Payne telling me to keep him calm. So I rubbed his cheek softly, and nodded my head. I hide the fact that those words stung me. I ignored the way my eyes were flooded with tears.

"If I die," Liam looked at me sternly before continuing, "I just want to let you know how much you mean to me. I want you to know that you've made me a better person; a stronger braver person. You've made me appreciate everything, and made my life amazing, in the short time you've been in it. If I do die, just know that I love you, Zayn. Know that I will always love you, no matter what you do."

My heart was beating abnormally fast, my palms becoming clammy. I was nervous, and his love for me made me realize how much he effects me. But there was another part of me that made my eyes tear up, and my heart ache and break. I knew that him loving me would be worse if he did die.

"Liam, for my sanity and you family's, please have hope that you will live. I don't think I can handle it much longer if you keep saying that." A guilty blush ran up his cheeks but I cupped his face in my hands, wanting to be as close to him as I could. "Liam, you will not understand how much those words meant to me, and how much I want to say, but I can't come up with the perfect words to say to you. All I can say is I love you. I love you so much, and everything about you. I love your laugh, I love the way you bury you head in my neck when we hug, I love the way you say my name, I love your eyes and I love you." I stared into my brown eyes, feeling a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

A tear trickled down Liam's cheek, as he tiredly touched my cheek affectionately.

I leaned down and kissed him on the lips, desperate to keep my tears in. I will miss this if he dies. My heart is already breaking, what will I do without him? Liam tried to kiss back, but I could tell that he was too exhausted to much of anything.

I gave him one last peck before repeatedly kissing his forehead. Will I ever get to do this again? I don't want to think about it...

"Stay with me? Don't leave... Please..." Liam croaked, his eyes slowly shutting.

I kissed his forehead one last time before sitting in the spare chair and taking a hold of his hand, patting it lightly. "Of course I'll stay, Li. I won't leave you. Go to sleep, get some rest."

He didn't need to be told twice, and shut his eyes. It didn't take long for him to start breathing deeply, telling me that he was asleep, and his body needed to heal.

I let to of his hand and placed my elbows on his bed, and buried my face in my hands.

What's going to happen?