Before you go...

VIII

16. The age where you are not really a child anymore and not ready to transition into an adult yet. Those where the strangest years and you only added more to them. Confusion, blaming myself for your insufficiency to be a father, to be what you where supposed to be. Emotionally supportive , not troubling us more than we already where, to love us and guide us through our next stages in life. You weren't any of that. Im glad i atleast had mom there for me.

That year me and joon where in the same grade, i had advanced because you demanded it ,thinking you where forcing me to try harder. I have to thank you for that though because this brought Joon and me closer. Thats when he became my best friend. The older brother i needed. Me and Joon might have been estranged from eachother but we grew up together and shared some really precious memories. Im glad they were enough to become the foundation of the relationship we have build over the years.

Those scared and burned out teens finally had someone to share their burden with. Slowly but steadily we were trying to recover and become stronger.

Mom has been busier and busier at work, leaving you several hours alone after you were done with work too. I dont know but i think she did that on purpose. You just weren't the same, you know. Didn't make her feel loved and safe, at home. And seeing the kids she birthed and raised wither like this because of you , broke her everyday little by little.