winter of orphic love | ot7 poly |

Chapter 4 Mistakes Upon Mistakes

"So... we're going to war?"

"Not if I can help it," Namjoon replies sternly, staring out the window in the living room. The rest of the pack has squished themselves on the couches but I remain standing. The guilt keeps me from joining them. My hands haven't stopped shaking since I fired the gun at the messenger.

Panicked daydreams of the aftermath of my actions are flashing through my head. They are going to come for us. They are going to invade our territory and come to kill us or threaten us at the very least. I cost us our livelihood. It's all my fault.

"It's unlikely they will risk war with us," Yoongi comments, squished between Hoseok and Taehyung. He squirms for a moment before falling still. "Even if they tried, they can't work together long enough for a collective effort."

"We need to increase our patrols," Hoseok tells Namjoon. "We have three days until the 15th, who knows what they might do. That is if the meeting is still up."

I watch the others with a pained expression. My stomach twists with guilt at the scent of their fear and worries hanging in the air.

This is all my fault.

"Charlotte was trying to protect us," Jin says and casts a look through the corner of his eye. "They fired the arrow in our direction first, and they threatened us and killed prey on our land."

"There's no proof that the rabbit was on our side of the border or hunted on our territory," Yoongi retorts, "it could have been a present."

My stomach twists with anxiety. I withdraw further from the group and grimace as their panicked and concerned scents move throughout the room. I put everybody in jeopardy. I shouldn't have taken the rifle. I knew I was feeling emotional and stressed out; it was irresponsible to think I could handle the gun during patrol.

Taehyung's gaze is fixated on me, but I can't bring myself to look him in the eyes.

"Charlotte, it isn't your fault," he says in an attempt to comfort me. "You were just trying to protect us. It's okay."

My lips curl back as I fight a rising cry. I wrap my arms tightly around myself and shake my head firmly. "No. It's not okay."

The three youngest boys turn their attention to me, their eyes are soft with undeserving sympathy and kindness. Jimin's body leans towards me and the center of his eyes begins to dilate. "Lottie..." he pleads, on the edge of his cushion, "don't blame yourself. We would have done the same thing."

I shake my head again. I take a further step back, wishing I could smother my scent and disappear from the house. "No. You wouldn't have."

Namjoon's jaw clenches and a muscle jumps from underneath the skin. He starts to walk towards me in slow, measured steps and I start to feel the warmth radiating off his body. The scent of his forest and the deep tones of musk perfume the air around him in seductive waves. The command of power flows through his body and begins to enter the space around me, urging me to step forward and enter his cocoon of warmth and strength.

His Alpha presence is calling to me. Whether it is intentional or not, I feel the yearning to fall into his muscular arms grow stronger. The primal urge within my chest whispered lies and told me that he can make all my pain vanish. That he can make everything okay again if I only give myself to him, to submit to his will.

I don't deserve that forgiveness. I won't let him trick me into believing otherwise. This is my fault, and I shouldn't be let off easy for it.

I force my legs to unfreeze and I walk away from him, rounding the edge of the living room. My eyes are wet with tears as I focus on the Alpha. Don't do this, I think to myself.