This Side of Pain

Guts and Bacon

Colton's POV

    Unlike most days, I don't secretly watch as Ben walks away, I instead go back to watching the kids and our surroundings, unable to shake the bad feeling in my gut.

   I've never been a "trust your gut" kind of guy, always preferring proof and evidence in an idea before I make any type of call. I do my best to tuck the feeling away and try my best to be present as my students slowly go away.

   Once the last kid from my class leaves the lot I feel myself relax, the tension I didn't know I was holding in my shoulders, finally able to relax. I head towards the school and open the door, humming to myself quietly as I make my way to the class.

   This time when a I return, the door is still locked and it helps reaffirm my guess that I'm just feeling off because of my nerves for Maggie's party and nothing more. I shake my head over getting riled up over not seeing a dad walk away when we went to go pick up his kid, and the door not being locked when we got back. Just regulars things that I blew up in my head for no reason. 

  These thoughts help me calm down, and I unlock the classroom door before walking inside. I shut the door behind me and turned on some music on my phone before going around the room to straighten up. I gather scraps of paper off of the ground, stack the chairs on top of the table so the janitor can clean without an issue, and tidy up the reading section that's near the back of the room.

    Once my classroom is back in order so my little demons can come mess it up again the next day, I gather my own things from the front of the room to get myself ready to follow their lead and go home.

   I grab my grading journal, the worksheets they did earlier this week and my lunch box which almost got left behind after hiding under my desk.

   With everything in hand I leave the classroom and lock the door, triple checking behind me that it's closed. I walk down the hallway and towards the front of the school, waving to some of the staff that I see, but not stopping to have conversation. Ever since Will died without me, I've found it hard to make friends.

   You can't replace life long inside jokes with some light hearted BS banter. It's not the same. And it never will be.

    I sigh to myself as I head towards my car, the late afternoon wind feeling nice after a long day. As I find my car and unlock it, I find myself searching the parking lot, for not I'm not sure, but I don't find anything. Annoyed with myself for all of these annoying claims of a bad gut feeling, I get inside the car and turn it on, buckling myself into my seatbelt before pulling off.

The drive home is boring and quiet, and I fill the silence with music, even rolling down the windows and pulling my bun down so that my hair can wave in the wind.

When I arrive home I feel a lot better, grabbing my case and jacket from the back seat before locking the car and heading upstairs. When I pass by Ben's apartment, I hear the sounds of kids playing and adults laughing, and a part of me feels jealous. Jealous that the man who continues to push me away and ignore me so easily accepts others into his home with open arms.

Of course I know they probably have a pass that I know nothing about, but I can't change the jealousy that tears his ugly head.

Shaking my head at myself, I grab my keys from my pocket before stopping at my own door, using the keys to let myself in. When I open the door, I find Emma laying on the couch with her feel thrown up, a magazine in hand, and bacon on a napkin sitting on her chest as she munches happily.

Amused, I close the door and walk inside, stopping to push Emma's feet off the couch so I can sit there instead, unbuttoning the first button of my shirt to let in some air.

I turn to my closest friend with a raised brow and an amused smile and after a moment she sets the magazine down and looks at me innocently. "Yes?" She asks me as if I'm the one who's interrupting something and I smack her thigh making her screech dramatically.

"So you decided it was easier to go to the store and buy bacon, bring it back here and then cook it, rather than just going to your own house?" I ask her just to make sure I got it right and she nods.

"Yeah it would have tasted better if you bought it, but alas, you abandoned me." She explains pitifully and I laugh, always amazed at how bratty she can be. While she continues her reading I go and change into a white tee and grey sweats, allowing my hair to stay out of its bun after a long hot day.

I head to the fridge and grab myself an Arizona to drink, but just as I'm about to settle down, there's a knock on the door.

I'm about to sit down anyway and ignore it, but Emma kicks me with a manic smile on her face pointing for me to go and answer the door. With a frown I head towards the door, rubbing my side where she kicked me. I open the door, fully expecting there to be a delivery man with food Emma ordered behind my back, but I'. shocked when I'm met with blushing Ben and a happy Maggie.

My won cheeks start to heat, my eyes unable to look away from Ben's fair skin and supple lips, his shyness over being here making my heart thump. They have their friends over and yet here they are. Both of them. I look down and smile widely at Maggie who smiles just a hug back.

"Mr.Colton, you were super nice to me today and my daddy thinks you have pretty hair so I want you to come help us set up for my party." She tells me candidly, and I feel my heart jump at the words, looking up at Ben, only to see him looking up at the ceiling, his lips moving as if reciting a prayer. His neck and cheeks are scarlet red making my chuckle quietly to myself.

I feel my chest puff at the compliment before looking down at Maggie to answer. "Of course I can come over and help. Can Emma come, too?" I ask them, pointing over my shoulder towards my friend and I find her standing right behind me making me roll my eyes.

"EMMA!" Maggie tells in excitement, rushing past my legs to hug her older friend and I hear Emma laugh at their collision but my eyes are only for the man in front of me.

He looks on at Maggie in exasperation and amusement and when we finally looks at me, I can't resist the urge to tease him even if it means he'll revoke the invitation.

"I have pretty hair do I?" I ask smugly, still riding the high it gave me. Ben's face heats up, but after he takes a needed breath, he smile at me timidly.

"Pretty enough." He answers and it stuns me into silence. With a small laugh, he turns and heads towards his apartment next door and I step out of the way so that the ladies can follow him. With an excited smile, I follow them to Ben's apartment, the smile unable to come off my face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Guys omg we've been waiting on our mattress for over three months and we finally got it! the nap we took on that thing after only sleeping on a couch and air mattress all this time? oh my god it was life changing.

Thoughts?

Comments?

QOTD: Jelly Beans or Mike & Ike's?