The Centaur and Me

~11~

~ 11 ~

Once we were both out of the lake, we dried off and went for a scout around our new location. Since we had been here a few days, Rio had already found a couple places with good food sources, so this was more of a look around to show me where he was getting our supplies. I was sat on his back, both of us silent, the only sounds around us were the birds, the wind blowing the leaves on the trees and the muffled sounds of his hooves against the grass.

Despite what had happened down at the lake just a short while ago, things had quickly become awkward once again. The kiss had been good and I was shocked that I had even asked for a second. But I was even more shocked at the ease and swiftness for him to obey my request, taking my face in his large hands so gently, yet so firmly.

Surely he liked me in some capacity? Or was he simply doing as he was told due to my status back at the herd, or simply because he was now my mate? I found myself questioning his genuineness, making myself anxious and my chest tighten.

"Sayuri?" His voice brought me back to reality.

"Hmm?" I didn't quite have the power to articulate at the moment, I was so busy overthinking.

"Why did you leave? What are you really out here for?" Rio asked. I felt my entire body tense. Rio must have felt it too because he stopped walking, turning his head over his shoulder to look at me properly. I felt pressure to answer him.

"I...I don't...know, I don't know." I said after a brief pause. "I just know I needed to get away,"

He held my gaze for a moment, and I found it hard not to tear myself away. His eyes offered comfort yet unsettled me as well. I could tell he was trying to work me out, find holes in my reasoning. I felt I knew what his response might be and I didn't want to hear it. Wanting to stop him before he could respond, I asked my own questions.

"Why didn't you just leave me be? You didn't need to come with me,"

I might have been wrong but I could have sworn that I saw a flash of anger briefly appear in his eyes. He turned his face away from me and started walking again.

"It wouldn't have been right to leave you. Besides, I'm your mate, it's my duty to look after and follow you." He said almost matter-of-factly. This almost triggered something in me to flip but I held my tongue. For the most part.

"So I'm just a duty?" I asked. Rio stopped in his tracks and turned to face me again, his brow creased.

"No, Sayuri, not at all," he sounded annoyed. "It is my honour to look after you,"

Now I was annoyed. I swung my leg over his body and twisted myself, ready to dismount him.

"Sayuri" he tried to stop me.

"No, I want to get down Rio," I snapped back. He didn't stop me this time. Instead he lowered himself down so I didn't have such a way to jump with my foot still tender. I slid off his back and turned to face him, my arms folded across my chest.

"If it's not a duty, it's an honour? You know you're starting to sound just like my father," I huffed.

"Sayuri please, I'm not trying to upset you. Of course you're not just a duty or an honour,"

"That's one of the main things you see, why I left! I was so tired of being made to feel like I wasn't the same as everyone else, like an object, a disappointment, a chore to be around. And I'm starting to feel exactly like that again," I realised I was talking to myself rather than to Rio. I was sounding off what I was feeling inside.

"I don't know why I'm out here! I want to feel like I have a purpose, that my existence is more than it was back home. I thought I'd find something! Instead I've found that, yet again, I'm nothing but a burden," I frowned, looking to the side with a deep exhale.