The Centaur and Me

~4~

~4~

When I stopped running, I didn't give myself time to catch my breath. I couldn't tell if I was red from running or embarrassment. My feet burned and my breathing was laboured from the panic and running. I paced up and down furiously, my hands gripping either side of my face. What had just happened? Rio wanted to be my mate? And my own Father had just embarrassed me in front of the whole herd, by asking Rio if he was actually sure?!

I tried to calm myself down and slumped against a tree. I squeezed my eyes shut and put my head in my hands.

"Hey, are you okay?" A voice asked. My eyes shot open and I jolted forward to see Kira bending down, worry on her face. I hadn't even heard her coming.

"I'm fine," I said breathlessly, but shaking my head. Obviously not very convincing.

"You don't look it, Sayuri," she said gently, kneeling down beside me.

"Please, I'm fine. I just need a moment" I said burying my head in my hands again.

"Honestly Sayuri, you're my best friend, you're like a sister to me, you know I know that you're not 'fine'" she said tucking a lock of golden hair behind her ear. "Come on, let's talk about it,"

I sighed and shook my head. She wasn't going to leave me be. Part of me wanted her to drop it and go, but another side of me was glad that she was here. I took a few moments to steady my breathing, before I looked at her and began speaking.

"I don't know Kira, I'm really confused right now. I don't know what I'm supposed to do," I managed, hugging my knees to my chest. "I have so many people that I have to try and please, I have to look good for my Father's reputation more than my own,"

"I know it can be confusing, and hard, but you shouldn't worry about what others think about you," she said, resting a hand on my shoulder.

"That's so easy for you to say! How can I not worry when I'm so obviously different to everyone else? You saw what happened this evening! When my name was called, no one stood up for me, and everyone knew that that would happen!" I snapped.

"I know, it was horrible. But you're forgetting that Rio did," she tried to comfort me.

"Only because he felt sorry for me, and that's not how I want people to feel about me, Kira,"

"Listen Sayuri, my brother did not stand up in front of the whole herd because he felt sorry for you," she said. I turned to face her, unimpressed and eyebrows narrowed. She nodded in defeat. "Okay, maybe he felt guilty that he wasn't actually there when your name was called, but I think he does genuinely like you!"

I didn't really know what to say to her. We sat in silence for a short moment or two before she got to her feet.

"Look, come back with me, at least think about considering Rio's offer, you never know what will happen! Trust me Sayuri, please," she said. I looked her up and down, a million thoughts tumbling through my mind.

"I'll give you a ride back," she offered. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Fine, I'll come back with you. But I don't know how I'm really feeling," I said quietly.

"It'll all work out," Kira smiled. I nodded, smiling weakly as she stood up, she knelt down her front legs so I could mount her back before she carried me back.

The Ceremony was over and there were few centaurs left hanging around the fire. Some of the guards, my Father and Rio were some of them. They had evidently been talking about me.

Rio's face lit up when he saw us. My Father looked displeased and I knew I would be getting an earful from him later about running off without permission.

"Thank you Kira," he nodded as I dismounted. He then turned to me.

"Sayuri, I have spoken with Rio and it's all settled. You are to be Rio's mate and tomorrow, he will come to fetch you, but we must return home at once, that's enough from you for one night," my Father nodded to the siblings, who in return, bowed to my Father and I. I stood still, not completely knowing how to feel or what to say. As per usual, I was having decisions made for me, so that I couldn't make the "wrong" decision for Father's image.

"Until tomorrow," Rio smiled at me, followed by a subtle wink. I blinked, still in shock and unsure how to respond. Rio and Kira turned to leave, with Rio casting a quick glance back over his shoulder at us. I turned to my Father, who had already turned to leave. The guards escorted me off after my Father.

I followed him home in silence, a range of different emotions building.

When we arrived home, I wanted to go straight to bed, but I was stopped.

"I cannot believe your behaviour this evening Sayuri," he said, crossing his arms. "And for Rio to draw such attention to you, I'm not impressed at all."  I looked at him in shock, my blood boiling inside me. I'd had enough of him.

"My behaviour!? If you weren't so obsessed with your image and reputation, maybe you'd realise that it's your behaviour that's shocking! I'm so tired of feeling like I'm never good enough for you! It's so exhausting trying to be perfect all the time, when all you do is remind me how different and how much of a let down I am to you and to the herd! You're so unsupportive and I'm so sick of all of it!" I snapped furiously. Father was furious, he narrowed his eyes at me and stood tall.

"Sayuri! How dare you-" he began

"How dare I?!? How dare you!" I cut him off, all the fear of angering him just drained from my body. " You're so embarrassed that I'm even your daughter, anything I do is an embarrassing, or not good enough, and you constantly remind me of that! I have hated and put myself down for years  because of you! I wish Mother was still around! She would never have treated me the way you do! She would've stuck up for me," I yelled, storming off.

He shouted after me, but I ignored him completely as I went to my room. I slammed the door shut behind me and felt the anger welling inside me. I furiously pulled the flowers from my hair, tossing them to the ground and pulled the dress off of my body, leaving just my under garments on.

It was then that I found myself sobbing. Dropping to my knees, I let the emotions from the day take over.

When I stopped crying, I rubbed my eyes and looked around my room. Getting to my feet, I turned and looked over at my bedroom door. It was at that moment that I decided I was going to leave this place. I just had to get away.