Tre Ragazzi e Una Ragazza

11 ~ A Different Practice

Soon, it was time for rehearsals. While working on my shift, I was so distracted by the thoughts on my mind. All the moments I shared with Lucio, Cosimo, and Amedeo and the feelings I was getting from each one of them started to whirl around in my mind. I nearly spilled coffee on one of the customers because I was so distracted. I took a moment to myself to give myself a bit of a pep talk and to remember what the goal was. Italy was the goal, everything else was just a distraction. I needed to focus on the rehearsal and on the showcase. Everything else could come later. 

As my shift ended and I started to feel a little better, it was time for rehearsals. I travelled to the theatre and walked into the auditorium, ready for what the day would bring. Thanks to Lucio's advice, I was feeling more confident in my singing and was ready to put into practice singing with emotion and letting myself go. It would probably be more difficult with everyone watching me, but that was just a challenge I would have to get over if I ever wanted to perform at La Scala. 

I walked to the front of the theatre, seeing the boys seated in their usual seats. They all looked back at me, but even this felt different. Instead of feeling comfortable and familiar, I felt like I had a different relationship with each and every one of them. That spirit of camaraderie I was fighting so hard to keep seemed like it was slipping right through my fingers. I calmed my racing heart and resolved to not let that happen. At least not without me fighting to keep it, tooth and nail. I smiled at them all and squeezed into the seat next to Lucio. He looked back at me. "Are you ready?" I nodded, excited and nervous. 

Rehearsals started promptly. The participants went up and sang their songs. You could tell they were practicing hard and improving steadily each week. The coordinator had less and less critiques to say about our performances and complimented us more as the showcase drew closer. Soon, it was Amedeo's turn to perform. I was a bit worried for him considering the situation he was in and all that happened to him today. How was he going to sing? Was he going to be okay? I watched, biting my nails, as his song began to play. He surprised me. He sang as beautiful as ever, but I could still sense the sadness he felt as he sang. It contributed to the feel of the song, but it was sad that it wasn't just an acting choice, it was real. When he finished, we all clapped, me clapping even louder. For the first time, he looked out and directly at me from the stage. "Grazie." He said, loud enough for me to hear. Not once did his eyes leave mine. Cosimo and Lucio both looked at me. Lucio looked surprised; Cosimo looked confused. 

Then, it was Cosimo's turn to sing. He raced up to the stage and started his song. He was passionate and strong as ever, singing this song of love with such romance and longing. It was like he turned into a different person when he performed, but deep down you could tell he was still the same old Cosimo. He finished his song with a triumphant bow, to which we all clapped. He made a point of turning to look right at me, in the same way Amedeo did. I saw Amedeo frown at him as he did this, and Lucio just looked surprised again. "Grazie tanto." Cosimo said, even louder, smiling just at me. Surely, I wasn't imagining this. Why were they competing with each other for my attention?

Soon it was Lucio's turn to sing. He went into performance mode, singing his song with his usual strength and beauty. He was so graceful, and his voice was so controlled in all aspects, it never ceased to amaze me. I felt a sense of relief wash over me. I could just enjoy his performance, not worrying about anything that was on my mind as he sang. I watched him intently, the smile never leaving my face. When he nailed the high note, I felt like jumping up and cheering loudly for him. I didn't think he could improve any more, and yet he did. His voice sounded stronger, and he held the high note out even longer. I could tell that singing and performing was his pride and joy. Lucio took a humble bow as we all clapped for him. Like a repeat of Cosimo and Amedeo, he also looked at me. He didn't say anything, though. He just smiled. It was more powerful and said more to me than what Cosimo and Amedeo had done. Cosimo and Amedeo were glaring at him from their seats, looking at me as well. Upon seeing that, I wiped the smile off of my face and faced the ground.