Tre Ragazzi e Una Ragazza

15 ~ Adesso, Per Noi. Vivi.

"Lucio?"

I paused, frozen in place as Lucio turned to face me. His dark, raven-colored hair blew away in the wind. He was wearing the same, black peacoat that he wore to my house for dinner that one night, along with his gray scarf. His black-framed glasses fogged up as he sighed, smiling. He looked right through me and into my heart, his golden eyes shining. His smile made me feel warm and comforted despite the chill in the air. "Ciao, Daniela." His voice was smooth like honey. He walked towards me, stopping only about a few feet away from me. We stood in silence, just staring at each other on the streets of Little Italy. After a while of this staring and silence, he spoke again. "I missed you." All the feelings I felt for him that I was busy fighting all came flooding back to me, rushing into my heart. I looked to the side, trying not to make eye contact. I still had to fight these feelings. I looked up at him, making eye contact. I shook my head and turned. I couldn't think of anything to say, besides what I eventually did say. "I should go-" 

Before I could take another step or say another word, Lucio ran forward towards me and gently grabbed ahold of my hand. "Aspetti, please." I turned back to face him. The wind blew the stray hairs away from my face, the cold brightening the tip of my nose with a red tint. I took a moment to really look at him. His face was so serious and full of so much emotion. "I can't let you go without telling you how I truly feel about you." I looked at him in disbelief, trying my best to ignore his touch on my skin. I frowned. "Didn't you already do that at the theatre with Amedeo and Cosimo?" He gritted his teeth and looked down at the ground, remembering the fateful events of that day. "I didn't know that they..." His voice trailed off as he looked to the side, remembering his former friends. I nodded sadly, looking up at him. "I know you didn't. I didn't either, Lucio."

Lucio looked back at me, his eyes pensive and hopeful. "I only said a few words, but it was all true. I love you, Daniela. I always have. From the day when we first met, when we ran into each other on the street, running late for our first rehearsal. From the day you stepped onto that stage and amazed me with your angelic voice. I couldn't keep you out of my mind, and not even for a second did I want to." He stepped closer to me, still not letting go of my hand. "I couldn't keep it in any longer. I knew I had to tell you how I felt." I couldn't hide the look of surprise from my face. Even though he had already confessed to me that day in the theatre and I had known about his feelings for me for a while, this felt different. Here, everything was more private and somehow everything he said meant even more to me. I realized that, even though I heard all of Amedeo and Cosimo's reasons for loving me, I never got to hear Lucio's. My heart was close to melting. Everything he said was solidifying my feelings of love for him.   

He looked back up at me and squeezed my hand, his eyes filled with despair. "Please, Daniela, say something. Anything." I frowned at seeing him so sad like this. I took a moment to think. Could I tell him the truth? Could I tell him that I felt the same way? That I woke up thinking about him? That I was able to sing with true emotion for the first time because I was singing about my feelings for him? That I loved him too? Could I tell him how scared I was to think about us together being a possibility? How I was scared to lose Cosimo and Amedeo as friends and possibly, if this didn't work out, lose him too? Could I tell him that my heart couldn't take one more anxious thought of not having him in my life, but that my heart was so full of love to the point of bursting every time he even looked at me or smiled at me? How could I tell him all this? I knew that I couldn't. And it was killing me. 

I couldn't formulate any words. "I-I just..." I stuttered, slowly letting go of his hand. I stepped away from him, trying to hide my tears. "I don't know, Lucio." I sighed, shuddering a bit. Lucio furrowed his brows, looking down at his now empty hand. He looked back at me with determination. He stepped forward and took both of my hands in his. "Look at me." He was firm in both his stance and the tone of his voice. I was surprised by this sudden change in his behavior. I looked him in the eyes, better appreciating their beautiful golden-brown color up close, those iconic fiery specks decorating his irises. He looked at me. "You don't have to say you love me back. You don't have to accept my feelings. Just please, think of what we shared together. Our friendship, our performances together, our relationship." He turned poetic, stepping even closer to me. "That day in the park when we shared our hopes and dreams with each other." My heart ached, remembering the conversation we had about our dreams as we looked out at the beautiful scenery around us. It was a perfect day.