Taekook Oneshots.

Santa Baby (F)

“Jeongguk. Psst. Jeongguk wake up!" Taehyung pesters gleefully as he rushes back into the bedroom with a smile on his face, poking Jeongguk’s cheeks annoyingly, “Jeonggukie, wake up! Santa came!”

Jeongguk grumbles some incoherent words that sound an awful lot like “fuck off”, and turns over, pulling the blanket over his head in a bid to block out Taehyung’s boisterous noise. But Tae doesn’t seem to get the memo as he leans over Jeongguk’s figure and pokes his face again, tapping and squeezing his cheeks.

“Santa came! You're really gonna lay here and sleep when there’s presents just waiting downstairs?” Tae asks in disbelief. “What a lazy sack of potatoes you are!”

Jeongguk speaks clearly this time.

“Fuck off.”

“Gosh, you’re such an old fart. It’s Christmas; get out of bed!” Tae chastises.

“Or you could get in bed.” Jeongguk suggests as he blindly reaches his hand out to try and pull Tae back to the bed, “It’s cold without you. Let's sleep some more.”

“It’s 7:15am, we can sleep later!” Tae beams.

“It’s 7 fucking 15 in the morning and you fucking woke me up?” Jeongguk grumbles, yawning into his other hand, “I hate you.”

“Santa waits for no-one.”

“Santa’s not fucking real.” Jeongguk deadpans.

“What a fucking buzzkill, Gukkie; you’re like the real-life Grinch. I might as well just date Jim Carrey instead.” Tae teases, “There’s hot chocolate downstairs, we can drink it and cuddle on the sofa! Come on!”

“Or, we could drink nothing and cuddle here?” Jeongguk bargains cheekily. “The presents will still be there whenever we wake up.”

“But Santa-”

“You and I literally picked out those presents in the shopping centre like two weeks ago. Some of them aren’t even wrapped. Santa my balls.” Jeongguk points out.

“Both me and my inner child say fuck you.” Tae scowls.

“I’m the closest thing you’ll get to Santa.” Jeongguk grins.

“Well,” Taehyung says as though he’s deep in thought, “You do wear a lot of red. And you have a big belly.”

“Fuck you, Kim.”

“But Santa never comes early, so you can’t be him.” Taehyung grins, and Jeongguk flicks him on the side of the head.

“I do not come early.” He squawks.

“What about yesterday?"

“That’s because you had a sexy Santa costume on; what was I supposed to do? You came early when I was dressed as a firefighter.”

“Okay fair point.” Tae smiles, “But anyway, come downstairs - I really really wanna show you this present I got you.”

“Is it alive?”

“N-No?”

“Does it expire?”

“No?”

“Does it smell?”

“No, but-”

“Good. Then it can wait.” Guk says triumphantly, finally succeeding in pulling Tae back onto the bed. “I am going to cuddle you until my arms are numb, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” He smiles, kissing lightly on Tae’s neck.