SUNFLOWER [l.s.]

008

I don't wanna make you feel bad
•————🌻————•
louis pov

tw; mentions of blood and hurting

Darcy was at Nialls apartment since he wanted to have my daughter for a day. I couldn't resist my daughters puppy face when she asked if she 'please could go to uncle Ni ni ' and had messaged Niall that she could come over for a day. Niall was obviously very happy about it.

I love the silence of this apartment. It is a comforting feeling. I should drop Darcy of at Nialls a few times a months.

After watching a few movies and getting lunch for myself I decide to take a long shower. But now before checking my phone.

I open WhatsApp and get a little bit sadder when I see that I have received not even one message from Harry. He hasn't messaged me in 20 hours. Which is weird cause normally he would always ask about my day or I would wake up with a goodmorning text.

I quickly message Niall and smile again when he sends me a selfie of him and Darcy watching a movie and eating a large tub of ice cream.

I strip out of my clothing and turn my super amazing good working shower on. Note the sarcasm. I get a towel from the cupboard and place it down on the counter next to the sink.

I open the shower door and step in. Shivering from the cold floor. The water is not even warm yet. This shower really needs some repairing. I try to relax which is really hard with the almost ice cold water.

A Twitter notification makes me look up and quickly get out. I've been addicted to it lately and I follow every single, as the fans call them, 'Harry styles' update account. I wrap a towel around my waist and get my phone. I dry my hands on the towel around my waist and unlock the phone. I open Twitter and click on the tweet.

My phone slides out of my hands as my grib loosens. I take a quick last glance at the picture before the phone crashes down onto the floor. Glass most likely shattered.

I stumble back against the wall and gasp. My phone is probably dead and I only saw the picture for a split second.

But the vague picture stays imprinted in my brain as I lean against the cold tiles from the bathroom wall. I slide down onto the ground. Scraping my naked back on the sharp tiles.

The picture of, like the caption said, Harry and Kendall, sitting really close and hugging eachother is not leaving my mind for a second. Tears form in the corner of my eyes and I feel a few already dripping down my cheek.

I don't even know why I'm this sad about it. Its not like me and Harry are together. Like at all. We're just friends. But I though that there was something different between us.

Well I guess there isn't.

Guess i felt that wrong.

I bring my hand to my back to feel around for any blood and am not shocked to see my hand stained with blood as I look at it.

I stand up and look at the red stain on my wall. I chuckle. I removed the previous stain just a few weeks before. Now I can paint it all over again. Yeehaw.

I get back in the shower and let the water run down my back. Cleaning my wounds I guess? Its becoming a ritual.

I meet someone new. I get attached. They leave. I cry. I hurt myself. I shower. I move on. But this case is different, moving on is gonna be harder.